<![CDATA[Do You Know This Man?]]>https://www.doyouknowthisman.comhttps://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!YRAr!,w_256,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F17f27ff0-9978-4029-96f4-d98409936022_512x512.pngDo You Know This Man?https://www.doyouknowthisman.comSubstackFri, 03 Apr 2026 19:45:43 GMT<![CDATA[What Is DEI, Really?]]>https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/what-is-dei-reallyhttps://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/what-is-dei-reallyTue, 29 Apr 2025 13:01:38 GMTIn the last few weeks, we've had conversations with many DEI skeptics.

In the course of those discussions, we discovered there are many misconceptions about DEI. What exactly is DEI? What are the benefits? What is Trump’s real agenda?

Thanks to our new best friend Chat GPT, we hope the following might be useful.

AI Generated Content

1) What is DEI, Really? DEI stands for Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion.

  • Diversity: Bringing together people of different races, genders, sexual orientations, religions, backgrounds, and perspectives.

  • Equity: Ensuring that systems are fair, and people have access to the resources they need to succeed—this may mean giving more support to those who’ve historically had less.

  • Inclusion: Creating environments where everyone feels welcome, valued, and empowered to contribute.

Historical Origins: DEI efforts evolved from the Civil Rights Movement, Affirmative Action policies of the 1960s and 1970s, and ongoing work to address systemic inequities in education, business, and government. The goal is not to “favor” certain groups, but to correct imbalances created by decades (centuries) of exclusion and discrimination.

2) The Goals of DEI

  • To improve access to opportunity for historically marginalized communities.

  • To create more fair workplaces and schools, where talent and voice are not limited by race, gender, or identity.

  • To increase innovation, collaboration, and effectiveness by building teams and institutions that reflect a wider range of perspectives and life experiences.

Numerous studies show that diverse teams perform better. Inclusive organizations are more trusted by the public. Equity increases long-term stability and fairness in institutions.

3) Why Some People Say DEI Is “Bad”

This usually stems from misunderstanding, fear, or manipulation. Some people believe (or have been told) that:

  • DEI is about “hating white people” or “lowering standards.”

  • DEI is “reverse discrimination.”

  • DEI forces people to think or act a certain way politically.

But DEI at its core is not punitive. It’s additive. It’s about expanding opportunity, not taking it away.

4) Trump’s Political Use of Anti-DEI Rhetoric

Donald Trump and many in his political circle have used DEI as a scapegoat—a convenient “enemy” to rally political support from people who feel uncertain about rapid cultural changes.

  • In schools: Efforts to ban DEI programs often include restrictions on discussing race, history, gender identity, or systemic inequality. The idea is framed as “protecting children” from “wokeness,” but the impact is to limit honest education.

  • In corporations: Some states have threatened businesses that provide DEI training with legal consequences, claiming it promotes division. This puts companies in a tough position: support inclusion and face political heat—or quietly pull back and risk falling behind in employee engagement and innovation.

  • Framing DEI as a threat allows Trump and others to exploit racial anxieties, particularly among white Americans who fear they are “losing” status, jobs, or cultural influence.

5) The Fear of Becoming a Minority

Some white Americans are anxious about projections that, within a few decades, they will no longer be the numeric majority in the U.S.

This is sometimes called the “Great Replacement” theory—a false, racist idea that people of color and immigrants are being “brought in” to replace white Americans. It’s been echoed in political rhetoric and even violent acts, like the 2019 El Paso shooting.

When Trump attacks DEI, he’s signaling to people who feel this fear:

“You’re being left behind. And these programs are to blame.”

It’s not true—but it’s emotionally powerful. It turns a push for fairness into a cultural battleground.

6) The Real Benefits of DEI—for Everyone

  • White people also benefit from inclusive, equitable workplaces and schools. It builds empathy, improves communication, and prepares people for the real, diverse world we all live in.

  • DEI isn’t about replacing or silencing anyone—it’s about building a table big enough for everyone.

Leave a comment

Do You Know This Man?: An Irreverent Memoir, is an ongoing exploration of the one character who eludes, confounds and mystifies. Me. Right now, it’s available for free, including being able to listen to some of my plays and dive into the best of Sportscape Magazine.

Current premium content available for free:

That’s the scoop!

Thanks for reading Do You Know This Man?: An Irreverent Memoir! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

]]><![CDATA[Your Verdict: Wade v. Golden]]>https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/your-verdict-wade-v-goldenhttps://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/your-verdict-wade-v-goldenSun, 27 Apr 2025 13:02:43 GMTIn the matter of Regina Wade v. Arthur Golden, you the jury found in favor of the Plaintiff, Ms. Wade, with 58% of the vote.

With over 750 presentations of Defamation since 2009, we’ve seen every outcome from unanimous verdicts to hung juries. One of the strengths of the story is there’s no checking the back of the book to see if you got the answer right.

The play was written so that just like real life, the decision you came to IS the answer. How do you feel about the verdict, whether or not it aligns with the personal vote you cast?

You may recall Ms. Allen asked Mr. Golden if he thought our justice system is good—don’t worry, we’re not polling you again. Just for participating in the interest of justice, we’re deeply appreciative.

If you haven’t yet watched all 5 episodes, they’re linked below.

Episodes

Episode 01 | The Accusation | 17 min

Release Date: March 9, 2025

Watch Now

What started as a routine business meeting takes a sinister turn when successful entrepreneur Regina Wade is accused of stealing an heirloom watch from real estate mogul Arthur Golden. Watch Now »

Episode 02 | Under Fire | 18 min

Release Date: March 10, 2025

Watch Now

Mr. Golden’s attorney, Ms. Allen, proves formidable as she attempts to chip away at Ms. Wade’s testimony. Then, Lorraine Jordan—previously Ms. Wade’s biggest client—takes the stand. Why did she suddenly cut ties? Watch Now »

Episode 03 | A Man’s Word | 11 min

Release Date: March 11, 2025

Watch Now

Mr. Golden finally gets a chance to speak in his own defense. A man of wealth and influence, he presents himself as the true victim— an honest businessman whose trust was betrayed. Watch Now »

Episode 04 | Cracks in the Foundation | 16 min

Release Date: March 12, 2025

Watch Now

Regina Wade’s lawyer, Mr. Lawton, tries to dismantle the businessman’s testimony with a withering cross-examination while raising the possibility that his accusation was based on more than just a missing watch. Watch Now »

Episode 05 | A Question of Justice | 20 min

Release Date: March 13, 2025

Watch Now

With the final cross-examination of Ms. Wade, Ms. Allen powerfully challenges Ms. Wade’s motivation, as well as her contention that she did not steal the watch. Watch Now »

Leave a comment

Defamation premiered in 2010 in Evanston, IL with showings at Sherman United Methodist Church, the Unitarian Church of Evanston, and Beth Emet, The Free Synagogue. Since then, The Defamation Experience has been touring live and virtually for 15 years. For more information, visit https://canamacproductions.com/defamation.

Film Credits:

Playwright & Creator: Todd Logan, Executive Producer, Canamac Productions

Characters & Actors (in order of appearance):

  • Judge Adrian Barnes: Malcolm Rothman

  • Ms. Regina Wade: Stacie Doublin (Plaintiff)

  • Mr. Lawton: Scott Phelps

  • Ms. Allen: Kimm Beavers

  • Mr. Arthur Golden: Richard Shavzin (Defendant)

  • Ms. Lorraine Jordan: Gina Taliaferro

Filming & Production: HMS Media

Musical Score: Lindsay Jones

Do You Know This Man?: An Irreverent Memoir is an ongoing exploration of the one character who eludes, confounds and mystifies. Me. Right now, it’s available for free, including being able to listen to some of my plays and dive into the best of Sportscape Magazine.

Current premium content available for free:

That’s the scoop!

Thanks for reading Do You Know This Man?! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

]]><![CDATA[Consider This...]]>https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/consider-thishttps://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/consider-thisSat, 22 Mar 2025 13:02:18 GMTDefamation has had a quite a journey over the last fifteen years. Covering a lot of ground including moire than 40 states Below are highlights from a jury deliberation held at Millsaps College in Jackson, Ms. in 2013.

Don’t believe everything you read about DEI being dead. We just booked shows at law schools in Florida and Texas. Who was it who said, “Keep hope alive?”

The poll will be open until April 14, after which we’ll announce the verdict from our viewers.

Cast Your Vote

Defamation Jury Deliberation Highlights

Leave a comment

The play Defamation is a riveting courtroom drama that has been touring the United States live and virtually for the last 15 years. The storyline is compelling. A professional black woman is suing a Jewish real estate developer for defamation. For years, the tagline has been “when race, class, religion and gender collide… a conversation begins.”

The production comes with a twist: the audience is the jury.

Read author’s intro for this podcast series:
https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/the-defamation-experience

Episodes

Episode 01 | The Accusation | 17 min

Release Date: March 9, 2025

Watch Now

What started as a routine business meeting takes a sinister turn when successful entrepreneur Regina Wade is accused of stealing an heirloom watch from real estate mogul Arthur Golden. Watch Now »

Episode 02 | Under Fire | 18 min

Release Date: March 10, 2025

Watch Now

Mr. Golden’s attorney, Ms. Allen, proves formidable as she attempts to chip away at Ms. Wade’s testimony. Then, Lorraine Jordan—previously Ms. Wade’s biggest client—takes the stand. Why did she suddenly cut ties? Watch Now »

Episode 03 | A Man’s Word | 11 min

Release Date: March 11, 2025

Watch Now

Mr. Golden finally gets a chance to speak in his own defense. A man of wealth and influence, he presents himself as the true victim— an honest businessman whose trust was betrayed. Watch Now »

Episode 04 | Cracks in the Foundation | 16 min

Release Date: March 12, 2025

Watch Now

Regina Wade’s lawyer, Mr. Lawton, tries to dismantle the businessman’s testimony with a withering cross-examination while raising the possibility that his accusation was based on more than just a missing watch. Watch Now »

Episode 05 | A Question of Justice | 20 min

Release Date: March 13, 2025

Watch Now

With the final cross-examination of Ms. Wade, Ms. Allen powerfully challenges Ms. Wade’s motivation, as well as her contention that she did not steal the watch. Watch Now »

Leave a comment

Defamation premiered in 2010 in Evanston, IL with showings at Sherman United Methodist Church, the Unitarian Church of Evanston, and Beth Emet, The Free Synagogue. Since then, The Defamation Experience has been touring live and virtually for 15 years. For more information, visit https://canamacproductions.com/defamation.

Film Credits:

Playwright & Creator: Todd Logan, Executive Producer, Canamac Productions

Characters & Actors (in order of appearance):

  • Judge Adrian Barnes: Malcolm Rothman

  • Ms. Regina Wade: Stacie Doublin (Plaintiff)

  • Mr. Lawton: Scott Phelps

  • Ms. Allen: Kimm Beavers

  • Mr. Arthur Golden: Richard Shavzin (Defendant)

  • Ms. Lorraine Jordan: Gina Taliaferro

Filming & Production: HMS Media

Musical Score: Lindsay Jones

Do You Know This Man?: An Irreverent Memoir is an ongoing exploration of the one character who eludes, confounds and mystifies. Me. Right now, it’s available for free, including being able to listen to some of my plays and dive into the best of Sportscape Magazine.

Current premium content available for free:

That’s the scoop!

Thanks for reading Do You Know This Man?! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

]]><![CDATA[You Are The Jury: Wade v. Golden]]>https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/the-technical-difficulty-experiencehttps://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/the-technical-difficulty-experienceWed, 19 Mar 2025 12:03:32 GMTIn the matter of Regina Wade v. Arthur Golden, you are the jury. Don’t forget to vote.

Yes, you and your fellow jurors will decide the case from Defamation. Watch Podcast episodes 1-5 and then render your verdict below:

“I have sent it on to a number of friends, and it has been cause for much discussion and difference of opinion.

Like in a jury room, I’ve probably changed my mind a few times on different aspects of the case as I consider trusted opinions… It was quite powerful.”

The play Defamation is a riveting courtroom drama that has been touring the United States live and virtually for the last 15 years. The storyline is compelling. A professional black woman is suing a Jewish real estate developer for defamation. For years, the tagline has been “when race, class, religion and gender collide… a conversation begins.”

The production comes with a twist: the audience is the jury.

Read author’s intro for this podcast series:
https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/the-defamation-experience

Episodes

Episode 01 | The Accusation | 17 min

Release Date: March 9, 2025

Watch Now

What started as a routine business meeting takes a sinister turn when successful entrepreneur Regina Wade is accused of stealing an heirloom watch from real estate mogul Arthur Golden. Watch Now »

Episode 02 | Under Fire | 18 min

Release Date: March 10, 2025

Watch Now

Mr. Golden’s attorney, Ms. Allen, proves formidable as she attempts to chip away at Ms. Wade’s testimony. Then, Lorraine Jordan—previously Ms. Wade’s biggest client—takes the stand. Why did she suddenly cut ties? Watch Now »

Episode 03 | A Man’s Word | 11 min

Release Date: March 11, 2025

Watch Now

Mr. Golden finally gets a chance to speak in his own defense. A man of wealth and influence, he presents himself as the true victim— an honest businessman whose trust was betrayed. Watch Now »

Episode 04 | Cracks in the Foundation | 16 min

Release Date: March 12, 2025

Watch Now

Regina Wade’s lawyer, Mr. Lawton, tries to dismantle the businessman’s testimony with a withering cross-examination while raising the possibility that his accusation was based on more than just a missing watch. Watch Now »

Episode 05 | A Question of Justice | 20 min

Release Date: March 13, 2025

Watch Now

With the final cross-examination of Ms. Wade, Ms. Allen powerfully challenges Ms. Wade’s motivation, as well as her contention that she did not steal the watch. Watch Now »

Leave a comment

Defamation premiered in 2010 in Evanston, IL with showings at Sherman United Methodist Church, the Unitarian Church of Evanston, and Beth Emet, The Free Synagogue. Since then, The Defamation Experience has been touring live and virtually for 15 years. For more information, visit https://canamacproductions.com/defamation.

Film Credits:

Playwright & Creator: Todd Logan, Executive Producer, Canamac Productions

Characters & Actors (in order of appearance):

  • Judge Adrian Barnes: Malcolm Rothman

  • Ms. Regina Wade: Stacie Doublin (Plaintiff)

  • Mr. Lawton: Scott Phelps

  • Ms. Allen: Kimm Beavers

  • Mr. Arthur Golden: Richard Shavzin (Defendant)

  • Ms. Lorraine Jordan: Gina Taliaferro

Filming & Production: HMS Media

Musical Score: Lindsay Jones

Do You Know This Man?: An Irreverent Memoir is an ongoing exploration of the one character who eludes, confounds and mystifies. Me. Right now, it’s available for free, including being able to listen to some of my plays and dive into the best of Sportscape Magazine.

Current premium content available for free:

That’s the scoop!

Thanks for reading Do You Know This Man?! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

]]><![CDATA[Defamation, Episode 05: A Question of Justice]]>https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/defamation-episode-05-a-questionhttps://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/defamation-episode-05-a-questionTue, 18 Mar 2025 23:13:19 GMT

The play Defamation is a riveting courtroom drama that has been touring the United States live and virtually for the last 15 years. The storyline is compelling. A professional black woman is suing a Jewish real estate developer for defamation. For years, the tagline has been “when race, class, religion and gender collide… a conversation begins.”

The production comes with a twist: the audience is the jury.

Read author’s intro for this podcast series:
https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/the-defamation-experience

Jury voting opens March 19th at 8AM Central and runs for 2 weeks.

Full Episode Listing…

Episode 01 | The Accusation | 17 min

Release Date: March 9, 2025

Watch Now

What started as a routine business meeting takes a sinister turn when successful entrepreneur Regina Wade is accused of stealing an heirloom watch from real estate mogul Arthur Golden. Watch Now »

Episode 02 | Under Fire | 18 min

Release Date: March 10, 2025

Watch Now

Mr. Golden’s attorney, Ms. Allen, proves formidable as she attempts to chip away at Ms. Wade’s testimony. Then, Lorraine Jordan—previously Ms. Wade’s biggest client—takes the stand. Why did she suddenly cut ties? Watch Now »

Episode 03 | A Man’s Word | 11 min

Release Date: March 11, 2025

Watch Now

Mr. Golden finally gets a chance to speak in his own defense. A man of wealth and influence, he presents himself as the true victim— an honest businessman whose trust was betrayed. Watch Now »

Episode 04 | Cracks in the Foundation | 16 min

Release Date: March 12, 2025

Watch Now

Regina Wade’s lawyer, Mr. Lawton, tries to dismantle the businessman’s testimony with a withering cross-examination while raising the possibility that his accusation was based on more than just a missing watch. Watch Now »

Episode 05 | A Question of Justice | 18 min

Release Date: March 13, 2025

Watch Now

With the final cross-examination of Ms. Wade, Ms. Allen powerfully challenges Ms. Wade’s motivation, as well as her contention that she did not steal the watch. Watch Now »

Leave a comment

Defamation premiered in 2010 in Evanston, IL with showings at Sherman United Methodist Church, the Unitarian Church of Evanston, and Beth Emet, The Free Synagogue. Since then, The Defamation Experience has been touring live and virtually for 15 years. For more information, visit https://canamacproductions.com/defamation.

Film Credits:

Playwright: Todd Logan, Executive Producer, Canamac Productions

Characters & Actors (in order of appearance):

  • Judge Adrian Barnes: Malcolm Rothman

  • Ms. Regina Wade: Stacie Doublin (Plaintiff)

  • Mr. Lawton: Scott Phelps

  • Ms. Allen: Kimm Beavers

  • Mr. Arthur Golden: Richard Shavzin (Defendant)

  • Ms. Lorraine Jordan: Gina Taliaferro

Filming & Production: HMS Media

Musical Score: Lindsay Jones

Do You Know This Man?: An Irreverent Memoir is an ongoing exploration of the one character who eludes, confounds and mystifies. Me. Right now, it’s available for free, including being able to listen to some of my plays and dive into the best of Sportscape Magazine.

Current premium content available for free:

That’s the scoop!

Thanks for reading Do You Know This Man?! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

]]><![CDATA[Defamation, Episode 04: Cracks in the Foundation]]>https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/defamation-episode-04-cracks-in-thehttps://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/defamation-episode-04-cracks-in-theTue, 18 Mar 2025 23:11:25 GMT

The play Defamation is a riveting courtroom drama that has been touring the United States live and virtually for the last 15 years. The storyline is compelling. A professional black woman is suing a Jewish real estate developer for defamation. For years, the tagline has been “when race, class, religion and gender collide… a conversation begins.”

The production comes with a twist: the audience is the jury.

Read author’s intro for this podcast series:
https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/the-defamation-experience

Jury voting opens March 19th at 8AM Central and runs for 2 weeks.

Full Episode Listing…

Episode 01 | The Accusation | 17 min

Release Date: March 9, 2025

Watch Now

What started as a routine business meeting takes a sinister turn when successful entrepreneur Regina Wade is accused of stealing an heirloom watch from real estate mogul Arthur Golden. Watch Now »

Episode 02 | Under Fire | 18 min

Release Date: March 10, 2025

Watch Now

Mr. Golden’s attorney, Ms. Allen, proves formidable as she attempts to chip away at Ms. Wade’s testimony. Then, Lorraine Jordan—previously Ms. Wade’s biggest client—takes the stand. Why did she suddenly cut ties? Watch Now »

Episode 03 | A Man’s Word | 11 min

Release Date: March 11, 2025

Watch Now

Mr. Golden finally gets a chance to speak in his own defense. A man of wealth and influence, he presents himself as the true victim— an honest businessman whose trust was betrayed. Watch Now »

Episode 04 | Cracks in the Foundation | 16 min

Release Date: March 12, 2025

Watch Now

Regina Wade’s lawyer, Mr. Lawton, tries to dismantle the businessman’s testimony with a withering cross-examination while raising the possibility that his accusation was based on more than just a missing watch. Watch Now »

Episode 05 | A Question of Justice | 18 min

Release Date: March 13, 2025

Watch Now

With the final cross-examination of Ms. Wade, Ms. Allen powerfully challenges Ms. Wade’s motivation, as well as her contention that she did not steal the watch. Watch Now »

Leave a comment

Defamation premiered in 2010 in Evanston, IL with showings at Sherman United Methodist Church, the Unitarian Church of Evanston, and Beth Emet, The Free Synagogue. Since then, The Defamation Experience has been touring live and virtually for 15 years. For more information, visit https://canamacproductions.com/defamation.

Film Credits:

Playwright: Todd Logan, Executive Producer, Canamac Productions

Characters & Actors (in order of appearance):

  • Judge Adrian Barnes: Malcolm Rothman

  • Ms. Regina Wade: Stacie Doublin (Plaintiff)

  • Mr. Lawton: Scott Phelps

  • Ms. Allen: Kimm Beavers

  • Mr. Arthur Golden: Richard Shavzin (Defendant)

  • Ms. Lorraine Jordan: Gina Taliaferro

Filming & Production: HMS Media

Musical Score: Lindsay Jones

Do You Know This Man?: An Irreverent Memoir is an ongoing exploration of the one character who eludes, confounds and mystifies. Me. Right now, it’s available for free, including being able to listen to some of my plays and dive into the best of Sportscape Magazine.

Current premium content available for free:

That’s the scoop!

Thanks for reading Do You Know This Man?! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

]]><![CDATA[Defamation, Episode 03: A Man's Word]]>https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/defamation-episode-03-a-mans-wordhttps://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/defamation-episode-03-a-mans-wordTue, 18 Mar 2025 23:09:16 GMT

The play Defamation is a riveting courtroom drama that has been touring the United States live and virtually for the last 15 years. The storyline is compelling. A professional black woman is suing a Jewish real estate developer for defamation. For years, the tagline has been “when race, class, religion and gender collide… a conversation begins.”

The production comes with a twist: the audience is the jury.

Read author’s intro for this podcast series:
https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/the-defamation-experience

Jury voting opens March 19th at 8AM Central and runs for 2 weeks.

Full Episode Listing…

Episode 01 | The Accusation | 17 min

Release Date: March 9, 2025

Watch Now

What started as a routine business meeting takes a sinister turn when successful entrepreneur Regina Wade is accused of stealing an heirloom watch from real estate mogul Arthur Golden. Watch Now »

Episode 02 | Under Fire | 18 min

Release Date: March 10, 2025

Watch Now

Mr. Golden’s attorney, Ms. Allen, proves formidable as she attempts to chip away at Ms. Wade’s testimony. Then, Lorraine Jordan—previously Ms. Wade’s biggest client—takes the stand. Why did she suddenly cut ties? Watch Now »

Episode 03 | A Man’s Word | 11 min

Release Date: March 11, 2025

Watch Now

Mr. Golden finally gets a chance to speak in his own defense. A man of wealth and influence, he presents himself as the true victim— an honest businessman whose trust was betrayed. Watch Now »

Episode 04 | Cracks in the Foundation | 16 min

Release Date: March 12, 2025

Watch Now

Regina Wade’s lawyer, Mr. Lawton, tries to dismantle the businessman’s testimony with a withering cross-examination while raising the possibility that his accusation was based on more than just a missing watch. Watch Now »

Episode 05 | A Question of Justice | 18 min

Release Date: March 13, 2025

Watch Now

With the final cross-examination of Ms. Wade, Ms. Allen powerfully challenges Ms. Wade’s motivation, as well as her contention that she did not steal the watch. Watch Now »

Leave a comment

Defamation premiered in 2010 in Evanston, IL with showings at Sherman United Methodist Church, the Unitarian Church of Evanston, and Beth Emet, The Free Synagogue. Since then, The Defamation Experience has been touring live and virtually for 15 years. For more information, visit https://canamacproductions.com/defamation.

Film Credits:

Playwright: Todd Logan, Executive Producer, Canamac Productions

Characters & Actors (in order of appearance):

  • Judge Adrian Barnes: Malcolm Rothman

  • Ms. Regina Wade: Stacie Doublin (Plaintiff)

  • Mr. Lawton: Scott Phelps

  • Ms. Allen: Kimm Beavers

  • Mr. Arthur Golden: Richard Shavzin (Defendant)

  • Ms. Lorraine Jordan: Gina Taliaferro

Filming & Production: HMS Media

Musical Score: Lindsay Jones

Do You Know This Man?: An Irreverent Memoir is an ongoing exploration of the one character who eludes, confounds and mystifies. Me. Right now, it’s available for free, including being able to listen to some of my plays and dive into the best of Sportscape Magazine.

Current premium content available for free:

That’s the scoop!

Thanks for reading Do You Know This Man?! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

]]><![CDATA[Defamation, Episode 02: Under Fire]]>https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/defamation-episode-02-under-firehttps://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/defamation-episode-02-under-fireTue, 18 Mar 2025 23:07:32 GMT

The play Defamation is a riveting courtroom drama that has been touring the United States live and virtually for the last 15 years. The storyline is compelling. A professional black woman is suing a Jewish real estate developer for defamation. For years, the tagline has been “when race, class, religion and gender collide… a conversation begins.”

The production comes with a twist: the audience is the jury.

Read author’s intro for this podcast series:
https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/the-defamation-experience

Jury voting opens March 19th at 8AM Central and runs for 2 weeks.

Full Episode Listing…

Episode 01 | The Accusation | 17 min

Release Date: March 9, 2025

Watch Now

What started as a routine business meeting takes a sinister turn when successful entrepreneur Regina Wade is accused of stealing an heirloom watch from real estate mogul Arthur Golden. Watch Now »

Episode 02 | Under Fire | 18 min

Release Date: March 10, 2025

Watch Now

Mr. Golden’s attorney, Ms. Allen, proves formidable as she attempts to chip away at Ms. Wade’s testimony. Then, Lorraine Jordan—previously Ms. Wade’s biggest client—takes the stand. Why did she suddenly cut ties? Watch Now »

Episode 03 | A Man’s Word | 11 min

Release Date: March 11, 2025

Watch Now

Mr. Golden finally gets a chance to speak in his own defense. A man of wealth and influence, he presents himself as the true victim— an honest businessman whose trust was betrayed. Watch Now »

Episode 04 | Cracks in the Foundation | 16 min

Release Date: March 12, 2025

Watch Now

Regina Wade’s lawyer, Mr. Lawton, tries to dismantle the businessman’s testimony with a withering cross-examination while raising the possibility that his accusation was based on more than just a missing watch. Watch Now »

Episode 05 | A Question of Justice | 18 min

Release Date: March 13, 2025

Watch Now

With the final cross-examination of Ms. Wade, Ms. Allen powerfully challenges Ms. Wade’s motivation, as well as her contention that she did not steal the watch. Watch Now »

Leave a comment

Defamation premiered in 2010 in Evanston, IL with showings at Sherman United Methodist Church, the Unitarian Church of Evanston, and Beth Emet, The Free Synagogue. Since then, The Defamation Experience has been touring live and virtually for 15 years. For more information, visit https://canamacproductions.com/defamation.

Film Credits:

Playwright: Todd Logan, Executive Producer, Canamac Productions

Characters & Actors (in order of appearance):

  • Judge Adrian Barnes: Malcolm Rothman

  • Ms. Regina Wade: Stacie Doublin (Plaintiff)

  • Mr. Lawton: Scott Phelps

  • Ms. Allen: Kimm Beavers

  • Mr. Arthur Golden: Richard Shavzin (Defendant)

  • Ms. Lorraine Jordan: Gina Taliaferro

Filming & Production: HMS Media

Musical Score: Lindsay Jones

Do You Know This Man?: An Irreverent Memoir is an ongoing exploration of the one character who eludes, confounds and mystifies. Me. Right now, it’s available for free, including being able to listen to some of my plays and dive into the best of Sportscape Magazine.

Current premium content available for free:

That’s the scoop!

Thanks for reading Do You Know This Man?! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

]]><![CDATA[Defamation, Episode 01: The Accusation]]>https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/defamation-episode-01-the-accusationhttps://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/defamation-episode-01-the-accusationTue, 18 Mar 2025 23:05:32 GMT

The play Defamation is a riveting courtroom drama that has been touring the United States live and virtually for the last 15 years. The storyline is compelling. A professional black woman is suing a Jewish real estate developer for defamation. For years, the tagline has been “when race, class, religion and gender collide… a conversation begins.”

The production comes with a twist: the audience is the jury.

Read author’s intro for this podcast series:
https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/the-defamation-experience

Jury voting opens March 19th at 8AM Central and runs for 2 weeks.

Full Episode Listing…

Episode 01 | The Accusation | 17 min

Release Date: March 9, 2025

Watch Now

What started as a routine business meeting takes a sinister turn when successful entrepreneur Regina Wade is accused of stealing an heirloom watch from real estate mogul Arthur Golden. Watch Now »

Episode 02 | Under Fire | 18 min

Release Date: March 10, 2025

Watch Now

Mr. Golden’s attorney, Ms. Allen, proves formidable as she attempts to chip away at Ms. Wade’s testimony. Then, Lorraine Jordan—previously Ms. Wade’s biggest client—takes the stand. Why did she suddenly cut ties? Watch Now »

Episode 03 | A Man’s Word | 11 min

Release Date: March 11, 2025

Watch Now

Mr. Golden finally gets a chance to speak in his own defense. A man of wealth and influence, he presents himself as the true victim— an honest businessman whose trust was betrayed. Watch Now »

Episode 04 | Cracks in the Foundation | 16 min

Release Date: March 12, 2025

Watch Now

Regina Wade’s lawyer, Mr. Lawton, tries to dismantle the businessman’s testimony with a withering cross-examination while raising the possibility that his accusation was based on more than just a missing watch. Watch Now »

Episode 05 | A Question of Justice | 18 min

Release Date: March 13, 2025

Watch Now

With the final cross-examination of Ms. Wade, Ms. Allen powerfully challenges Ms. Wade’s motivation, as well as her contention that she did not steal the watch. Watch Now »

Leave a comment

Defamation premiered in 2010 in Evanston, IL with showings at Sherman United Methodist Church, the Unitarian Church of Evanston, and Beth Emet, The Free Synagogue. Since then, The Defamation Experience has been touring live and virtually for 15 years. For more information, visit https://canamacproductions.com/defamation.

Film Credits:

Playwright: Todd Logan, Executive Producer, Canamac Productions

Characters & Actors (in order of appearance):

  • Judge Adrian Barnes: Malcolm Rothman

  • Ms. Regina Wade: Stacie Doublin (Plaintiff)

  • Mr. Lawton: Scott Phelps

  • Ms. Allen: Kimm Beavers

  • Mr. Arthur Golden: Richard Shavzin (Defendant)

  • Ms. Lorraine Jordan: Gina Taliaferro

Filming & Production: HMS Media

Musical Score: Lindsay Jones

Do You Know This Man?: An Irreverent Memoir is an ongoing exploration of the one character who eludes, confounds and mystifies. Me. Right now, it’s available for free, including being able to listen to some of my plays and dive into the best of Sportscape Magazine.

Current premium content available for free:

That’s the scoop!

Thanks for reading Do You Know This Man?! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

]]><![CDATA[The Defamation Experience]]>https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/the-defamation-experiencehttps://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/the-defamation-experienceSat, 08 Mar 2025 14:02:06 GMT

“A brilliant, shifting jigsaw puzzle of a courtroom drama.The Defamation Experience holds the audience’s own prejudices and assumptions under a powerful lens, and does not let us go except by way of an unsettling self-examination. No one escapes the jury’s deliberations unchanged.”

— Rabbi Debra Kassoff, Jackson, MS

His play Defamation is a riveting courtroom drama that has been touring the United States live and virtually for the last 15 years. The storyline is compelling. A professional black woman is suing a Jewish real estate developer for defamation. For years, the tagline has been “when race, class, religion and gender collide… a conversation begins.”

The production comes with a twist: the audience is the jury.

He was inspired to write the play after a personal experience not only revealed the lack of diversity in his life, but also triggered a troubling self-examination about how it came to pass that he was living in “lily white” Winnetka.

Defamation has exceeded his wildest expectations. It has been performed more than 750 times in over 40 states and 14 countries. The venues represent a broad range including theaters, civic organizations, corporations, churches, synagogues, colleges, law schools, bar associations and high schools.

Today, it is called The Defamation Experience. Audiences watch a trial, openly deliberate, and participate in a facilitated post show discussion. The quality of the The Defamation Experience has made it one of the premiere diversity programming opportunities in the United States.

Yes. The irony. The arc of currents events is bending DEI towards DOA.

After the Trump executive orders, many colleges for fear of losing federal funding have shuttered their DEI offices and programs. Yes, they’ve scrubbed their websites of any mention of DEI.

Leave a comment

Then, there is, of course, the mandate to scrub identity. Whether it’s the workplace or universities, distinctions are not supposed to be made. Regardless of our race and/or ethnicity, we are now all the same. Save gender. We have two choices male or female. Lucky us.

In the early years of The Defamation Experience, black people often expressed dismay when a white person said they didn’t see “color.” There was a black college professor famous for carrying at all times a box of crayons. When someone would say to him they didn’t see color, he tossed his crayons on the floor and asked, “do you not see color?”

Fortunately there are still institutions that see color. Unfortunately their numbers are dwindling and our bookings have suffered accordingly.

Now more than ever, The Defamation Experience and our sister program, Just Cause The Experience, are needed.

Another irony. When The Defamation Experience first started in 2011, DEI departments were few and far between. Shows were booked thru the offices of multiculturalism, dean of students, and either the provost or president’s offices.

When Covid hit, we could not tour live. Serendipitously, in 2013 the very fine production company HMS Media filmed a three camera shoot. The Tony nominated composer Lindsay Jones created a dramatic score.

Yes, thank you Zoom! We began presenting our programs virtually. That included the audience deliberations and the post show discussions. When students returned to the classroom, we continued to present virtually.

Today we offer a multitude of delivery options, including live deliberations and facilitated post show discussions and workshops.

Bias is part of our beat. Pardon our bias that we believe in Trump’s dystopian world Defamation and Just Cause (written by Lisa Dillman and Todd Logan) are vitally needed.

This week we’d like to share The Defamation Experience with you. Starting tomorrow we are going to release the film in five segments. You can watch them individually, several at a time or all at once. Ring an episodic streaming bell?

After, you will be able to vote anonymously for the plaintiff or the defendant. Of course, your comments will be welcome. We will post regularly where the jury stands.

We also encourage you to share The Defamation Experience.

Are we super excited? You betcha!

This invite comes with a gargantuan trigger warning. Our defendant Mr. Golden is Jewish. Like all of you he’s complicated. He’s smart, self-made, self-confident and imbued with certitude on steroids. He’s wealthy enough to live in a lakefront home in Winnetka and own a 5,000 square foot home in Lake Geneva. He belongs to a nearly all Jewish country club (yes, these clubs were started because Jews were excluded from Gentile clubs).

He also worries about the future of the Jewish people. He’s not happy that 50% of American Jews marry outside the faith. He feels strongly that his children should marry within.

Ms. Wade, the plaintiff, is entitled to the best defense. She has a terrific lawyer who puts Mr. Golden thru a withering cross-examination. This will make some of you uncomfortable. You may even be triggered. You may feel the play is perpetuating a negative stereotype.

If you are black you may also struggle. The issue in the courtroom is whether or not Mr. Golden falsely accused Ms. Wade of stealing an heirloom watch from his home. Yes, there is the line, “when the watch goes missing, must mean the black person took it.” Talk about a stereotype. Mr. Golden’s counsel, a black women, is brilliantly brutal in her cross-examination of Ms. Wade.

The goal of art is to elevate. Yes, sometimes to trigger, too. But with purpose to challenge audiences. Especially preconceived notions.

After the Hamas attack on Israel, we were able to strip out from the film any mention of Mr. Golden’s faith. We were being pragmatic. We knew our customer. They wanted a rich experience for their attendees. They wanted them to have difficult but courageous conversations guided by experienced facilitators. They wanted their attendees to leave both seeing thru a new lens and collectively empowered to communicate with compassion and empathy.

To paraphrase Walter Lippmann, there are those who judge and then see the person, and there are those who see the person first and then judge.

The latter is where our clients want their attendees to land.

The revised version of Defamation has been received very well. It’s a fit for today’s times.

The original, in our opinion, is even better and richer.

We are giving you this extensive trigger warning because, yes, you should know what you are about to see. At the venues where we perform, the attendees cannot opt out.

You can.

So, as we often say, grab your popcorn, snacks and drinks.

Welcome to The Defamation Experience! But remember—you are the jury.

For more information, visit https://canamacproductions.com/defamation

Leave a comment

Defamation

by Todd Logan

The play Defamation is a riveting courtroom drama that has been touring the United States live and virtually for the last 15 years. The storyline is compelling. A professional black woman is suing a Jewish real estate developer for defamation. For years, the tagline has been “when race, class, religion and gender collide… a conversation begins.”

The production comes with a twist: the audience is the jury.

Read author’s intro for this podcast series:
https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/the-defamation-experience

Jury voting opens March 19th at 8AM Central and runs for 2 weeks.

Full Episode Listing…

Episode 01 | The Accusation | 17 min

Release Date: March 9, 2025

Watch Now

What started as a routine business meeting takes a sinister turn when successful entrepreneur Regina Wade is accused of stealing an heirloom watch from real estate mogul Arthur Golden. Watch Now »

Episode 02 | Under Fire | 18 min

Release Date: March 10, 2025

Watch Now

Mr. Golden’s attorney, Ms. Allen, proves formidable as she attempts to chip away at Ms. Wade’s testimony. Then, Lorraine Jordan—previously Ms. Wade’s biggest client—takes the stand. Why did she suddenly cut ties? Watch Now »

Episode 03 | A Man’s Word | 11 min

Release Date: March 11, 2025

Watch Now

Mr. Golden finally gets a chance to speak in his own defense. A man of wealth and influence, he presents himself as the true victim— an honest businessman whose trust was betrayed. Watch Now »

Episode 04 | Cracks in the Foundation | 16 min

Release Date: March 12, 2025

Watch Now

Regina Wade’s lawyer, Mr. Lawton, tries to dismantle the businessman’s testimony with a withering cross-examination while raising the possibility that his accusation was based on more than just a missing watch. Watch Now »

Episode 05 | A Question of Justice | 18 min

Release Date: March 13, 2025

Watch Now

With the final cross-examination of Ms. Wade, Ms. Allen powerfully challenges Ms. Wade’s motivation, as well as her contention that she did not steal the watch. Watch Now »

Do You Know This Man?: An Irreverent Memoir is an ongoing exploration of the one character who eludes, confounds and mystifies. Me. Right now, it’s available for free, including being able to listen to some of my plays and dive into the best of Sportscape Magazine.

Current premium content available for free:

That’s the scoop!

Thanks for reading Do You Know This Man?! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

]]><![CDATA[Good News!]]>https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/good-newshttps://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/good-newsMon, 03 Mar 2025 14:03:00 GMTGood News! We think so.

  • 55% of you have watched at least one episode of our podcast Defamation; we think that’s great.

  • 10% of you have now voted for either Ms. Wade, the plaintiff or Mr. Golden, the defendant. We also think that’s great.

We know both anecdotally and by the laws of human nature that either finishing watching or beginning to watch Defamation has slipped thru the cracks and grind of daily life.

We’d love for you to get to it and participate as jurors.

Here’s what we are willing to do to help.

If you watch the podcast and vote, we’ll send you a complimentary copy of the play. If you have already voted, we’d like to send you one, too.

Just click below and the play will be on it’s way.

Request My Copy

Need more time? We’re extending the deadline one more week to April 14th.

Cast Your Vote

Defamation

We’re so grateful to have you as subscriber; we feel this is the least we can do to show our gratitude.

Get started watching now:
Read author’s intro for this podcast series:
https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/the-defamation-experience

Episodes

Episode 01 | The Accusation | 17 min

Release Date: March 9, 2025

Watch Now

What started as a routine business meeting takes a sinister turn when successful entrepreneur Regina Wade is accused of stealing an heirloom watch from real estate mogul Arthur Golden. Watch Now »

Episode 02 | Under Fire | 18 min

Release Date: March 10, 2025

Watch Now

Mr. Golden’s attorney, Ms. Allen, proves formidable as she attempts to chip away at Ms. Wade’s testimony. Then, Lorraine Jordan—previously Ms. Wade’s biggest client—takes the stand. Why did she suddenly cut ties? Watch Now »

Episode 03 | A Man’s Word | 11 min

Release Date: March 11, 2025

Watch Now

Mr. Golden finally gets a chance to speak in his own defense. A man of wealth and influence, he presents himself as the true victim— an honest businessman whose trust was betrayed. Watch Now »

Episode 04 | Cracks in the Foundation | 16 min

Release Date: March 12, 2025

Watch Now

Regina Wade’s lawyer, Mr. Lawton, tries to dismantle the businessman’s testimony with a withering cross-examination while raising the possibility that his accusation was based on more than just a missing watch. Watch Now »

Episode 05 | A Question of Justice | 20 min

Release Date: March 13, 2025

Watch Now

With the final cross-examination of Ms. Wade, Ms. Allen powerfully challenges Ms. Wade’s motivation, as well as her contention that she did not steal the watch. Watch Now »

Leave a comment

Defamation premiered in 2010 in Evanston, IL with showings at Sherman United Methodist Church, the Unitarian Church of Evanston, and Beth Emet, The Free Synagogue. Since then, The Defamation Experience has been touring live and virtually for 15 years. For more information, visit https://canamacproductions.com/defamation.

Film Credits:

Playwright & Creator: Todd Logan, Executive Producer, Canamac Productions

Characters & Actors (in order of appearance):

  • Judge Adrian Barnes: Malcolm Rothman

  • Ms. Regina Wade: Stacie Doublin (Plaintiff)

  • Mr. Lawton: Scott Phelps

  • Ms. Allen: Kimm Beavers

  • Mr. Arthur Golden: Richard Shavzin (Defendant)

  • Ms. Lorraine Jordan: Gina Taliaferro

Filming & Production: HMS Media

Musical Score: Lindsay Jones

Do You Know This Man?: An Irreverent Memoir is an ongoing exploration of the one character who eludes, confounds and mystifies. Me. Right now, it’s available for free, including being able to listen to some of my plays and dive into the best of Sportscape Magazine.

Current premium content available for free:

That’s the scoop!

Thanks for reading Do You Know This Man?! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

]]><![CDATA[May He Rest In Peace]]>https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/may-he-rest-in-peacehttps://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/may-he-rest-in-peaceMon, 17 Feb 2025 17:01:21 GMT

Todd Logan

We heard from Todd’s sister Jamie that some time during 2022; he was involved in a pie eating incident at a family reunion. May he rest in peace.

Leave a comment

2/16/25 2:33 PM

Lauren Lauffler

This is just so sad. I think we were in the same grammar school class every year until I moved away in third grade. Moving was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I just didn’t understand why my parents would take me away from all my friends just because my parents were getting divorced. I suppose it started to make sense when my aunt told me in sixth grade that my mother had been sleeping with her tennis pro.and my Dad had been fucking the crossing guard.

2/16/25 2:42 PM

Jack Star

I used to find these memoriam’s depressing. Now they put a skip in my walk. Am I the only one? I have absolutely no memory of Todd. I imagine it’s sad for his family. Unless he was a jerk.

2/16/25 2:51 PM

Sharon Leydoux

Oh my God. When I saw the name Todd, I thought it was Todd Rosen. I literally stopped breathing for a while. I haven’t talked to Todd R. since sophomore year. Honestly I haven’t thought about him until I read this post. I had a crush on him all through grammar school and through most of 7th grade. Wasn’t Todd R. one of those boys who went through puberty early?

2/16/25 3:01 PM

Laurie Goldstone

I got to know Todd’s big sister, Holly, in Girl’s Club. I remember she had really long brown hair. Does anyone know if she’s still alive?

2/16/25 3:10 PM

Mary Micklin

I was saddened to read that Todd died during a pie eating incident. Such a horrible way to die. Right? I remember Todd really well. He was super short until junior year in high school. I’m sure he was self-conscious. I know I would have been.

2/16/25 3:18 PM

Michael Moyer

I remember that crossing guard that Lauren’s Dad was schtupping. She was hot. I’m sure the tennis pro her mother was sleeping with was pretty hot, too. I hope so. Anyway, divorce sucks. Actually my third one wasn’t so bad.

2/16/25 3:42 PM

Sarah Wiest

This is my first time on our class site. I’m really excited to reconnect with so many of you at our 55th next year. I’m basically unrecognizable so I hope there are name tags. They didn’t have name tags at my 40th college reunion.

I wanted to say my thoughts and prayers go out to Todd’s family til I remembered he died a few years ago. So, maybe, the right thing to say is, I’m sorry for your loss. That doesn’t sound right either.

Ok, I’ll come clean. I was lying about being unrecognizable. I look great. I mean really great.

2/16/25 3:49 PM

Jerry Heimer

I share many of thoughts and sentiments that have already been expressed. Especially I, too, am glad if it had to be someone, it was Todd L. and not Todd Rosen.

Mary, you mentioned that Todd L. was super short. I think we had three or four super short guys. I found it impossible to tell them apart. Except one of them had an ever so faint limp. Was that Todd L?

2/16/25 4:02 PM

Bobby Hellman

I’d like to know more about the pie eating incident. Does anyone have contact information for his sister Jamie?

2/16/25 4:04 PM

Jackie Bettleman

That just so you, Bobby. If I had it I wouldn’t give it to you.

2/16/25 4:05 PM

Bobby Hellman

Nice, Jackie. Real nice.

2/16/25 4:07 PM

Matty Mathers

You guys need to get a room.

2/16/25 4:10 PM

Tommy Kurson

Can we get back on topic? There were four super short guys in our class. The class ahead of us had three super short guys and the class behind us had five.

Todd L. didn’t have the limp. His father did. It wasn’t faint. It was definitely pronounced.

2/16/25 4:12 PM

Leslie Manville

I was in driver’s ed with Todd sophomore year. I don’t think he was super short then because I rode with him once and he didn’t have any problem reaching the accelerator.

2/16/25 4:14 PM

Johnny Newman

Good to know, Leslie.

2/16/25 4:15 PM

Leslie Manville

You’re a dick, Johnny.

2/17/25 4:17 PM

Bobby Hellman

Once a dick...always a dick.

2/16/25 4:22 PM

Scott Cornell

He still could have been super short while driving the car. They had a wooden block with straps that were attached to your shoe. I should know. I was one of the super short guys.

2/16/25 4:26 PM

Jackie Bettleman

You’re so tall now.

2/16/25 4:37 PM

Scott Cornell

I grew 16 inches junior year. I’ve lost an inch in the last couple of years.

2/16/25 4:41 PM

Johnny Newman

Tell me about it.

2/16/25 4:52 PM

Jerry Heimer

Hey! Can we get back on topic and talk about the reunion?

2/16/25 5:01 PM

Laurie Goldstone

Jerry, are you on the reunion committee? Didn’t think so.

2/16/25 5:08 PM

Scott Cornell

Hey Laurie, if Sarah looks as great as she says, I think we should put her on the reunion committee. What say you?

2/16/25 5:20 PM

Joel Lewis

I was in Driver’s Ed with Todd L and I’m almost positive he drove without a wooden block attached to his foot.

2/16/25 5:24 PM

Michelle Hartmann

Joel, I beg to differ with you. As I’m sure you remember, I was also in that Driver’s Ed class. I know for a fact he drove with the wooden block. How do I know? I used to help him get it off. It was strapped to his foot like a son of a bitch.

2/16/25 5:26 PM

Bobby Hellman

Man, that’s rough. LOL

2/16/25 5:28 PM

Scott Cornell

Now that’s a walk of shame.

2/16/25 5:30 PM

Michelle Hartmann

Guys, it’s not funny. Well, I guess it’s sorta funny. Maybe hysterical after a few drinks. I just don’t think this is the place to make jokes at Todd L’s expense. Even if he did die in that pie eating incident two years ago. So, it’s definitely not too soon. And I did crack up when I saw the phrase “pie eating incident.”

He was a classmate. That has to mean something? Doesn’t it? I think so.

Out of respect for him and his loved ones, I want to say his passing is a profound loss and I’m sure he’ll be missed hopefully by at least someone. I’m sure you all concur, so I can say these sentiments are not just coming from me but the entire surviving HPHS class of ‘71.

Todd L, we wish you godspeed. I guess after two years, you should already be there.

I hope all of you reading this will join me in a moment of a silence for a departed classmate. When we’re done I do have one more thing to say.

(moment of silence)

Can you believe Lauren Lauffler’s dad was banging the crossing guard?

Leave a comment

Do You Know This Man?: An Irreverent Memoir is an ongoing exploration of the one character who eludes, confounds and mystifies. Me. Right now, it’s available for free, including being able to listen to some of my plays and dive into the best of Sportscape Magazine.

Current premium content available for free:

That’s the scoop!

Thanks for reading Do You Know This Man?! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

]]><![CDATA[Mansplaining]]>https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/mansplaininghttps://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/mansplainingSat, 15 Feb 2025 13:02:16 GMT

Do You Know This Man?: An Irreverent Memoir is an ongoing exploration of the one character who eludes, confounds and mystifies. Me. Right now, it’s available for free, including being able to listen to some of my plays and dive into the best of Sportscape Magazine.

Current premium content available for free:

That’s the scoop!

Thanks for reading Do You Know This Man?! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

]]><![CDATA[T.S. Eliot Was Wrong. January Is The Cruelest Month.]]>https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/ts-eliot-was-wrong-january-is-thehttps://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/ts-eliot-was-wrong-january-is-theSun, 02 Feb 2025 14:03:09 GMTNew Year’s Day —

Lost a spelling bee to his seven year-old granddaughter Liv. He misspelled camouflage in the seventh round. Irksome.

January 3rd —

Read a fascinating article in Scientific American, in which the author hypothesized that some people are born with an “R” gene. The letter R stands for resilience. After considering how well he has faced some of life’s most daunting challenges, he concluded that if there is an “R” gene, the gene gods had bestowed one upon him. Blessed.

January 4th —

On eve of his 50th college reunion, received letter asking for nomination(s) for a Clark Outstanding Alum Award. Intrigued.

January 6th —

His tennis instructor gave him a PIP (Performance Improvement Plan). He was told if he wanted to keep his coveted Monday 8 a.m. slot, he needed to show up on time, pick up at least 50% of the balls at the end of the lesson, make better eye contact, and stop saying, “I thought I was doing that” after every pointer. The pro told him he was officially on the clock. He had 30 days. Concerned.

January 8th —

During therapy he asked his therapist if he wanted to be added to his Substack mailing list. His therapist enthusiastically said yes. He spent most of the session talking about the PIP. He confessed that, until he was given the PIP, he had never heard of it. His therapist told him PIPs are common in the corporate world.

“Exactly. This is a tennis lesson.”

“Exactly, just a tennis lesson.”

“So, you’re okay with it?”

“I want you to be okay with it.”

Classic therapist speak.

At the end of the session, his therapist told him that his personal time is so very precious he might find the time to read one, maybe, two of his Substack columns. Bait and Switch.

January 10th —

In December, he submitted some Substack columns to a prominent literary agent to consider for a book. When she asked who was the readership, he replied, readers who enjoy David Sedaris. In her email today, she said, “You’re no David Sedaris.”

Ouch!

Her question was about the prospective readership; not asking are you another David Sedaris. He asked himself what would he have answered had she asked him if his writing was on par with David Sedaris.

He laughed out loud when he remembered he had never read anything by David Sedaris. Who cares what she thinks? Confident.

January 13th —

Arrived 5 minutes early for his tennis lesson. Really tried to make better eye contact. Not once did he say “I thought I was doing that.” On his way home, he remembered he was supposed to pick up more tennis balls than his teacher. He couldn’t remember. He concluded, more likely than not, he hadn’t.

He decided the pro had given him a lot to remember. If he was going to prevent the PIP he needed to come up with a mnemonic device. While he was trying to come up with something, his mind wandered to the spelling bee with Liv. What if, in their next spelling bee, mnemonic is one of the words? Could he spell it?

He tried. He couldn’t. He had to ask Siri several times to spell mnemonic before he felt he had it memorized. But how to lock it in. He tried to come up with something. He couldn’t. Ironic.

January 14th —

He nominated himself for the Clark Outstanding Alum Award. Though Clark didn’t say you couldn’t nominate yourself, he was sure that would put him at a disadvantage. His workaround was to have his nomination come thru his newly created Clark University Glencoe Outdoor Adventure Alumni Association. Resourceful.

January 16th —

At his weekly tennis drill, he confided in a buddy that he had been given a PIP. His buddy said he knew. He asked him how he knew. He said everyone knows. When he heard that, he got that a familiar sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. His buddy saw his dismay and said, “Hey, take it up with HR.” Mortified.

January 17th —

While perusing the shelves of Barnes & Noble he came across the book 200 Words You Must Know To Win A Spelling Bee. While skimming, he came across camouflage. That was good enough for him. He bought it. Strategic.

January 20th —

Had a bad dream. Dreamt that he was in college and the chairman of the government department was reaming him out for not writing a tenure letter of recommendation for his advisor.

This had really happened. He was just a sophomore. He wasn’t a confident writer. That was 48 years ago. Why is he having this dream now?

Good question for his therapist. He decided forget that. He knows what his therapist will say. First, he’ll repeat back the question.

“Why are you having that dream now?”

He’ll say he doesn’t know. His therapist will say what he always says. “Do you think we should look under the hood?”

The metaphor drives him crazy. He’s not a car guy. Except for the engine, radiator and window washer fluid, he has no idea what is under the hood.

He perseverates all day about about the dream. Guilt ridden.

January 22nd —

When he wakes, per usual, he reaches for his iPhone and activates it with the facial recognition software. The phone doesn’t activate. He sits up in bed and tries again. Still doesn’t turn on. Mildly puzzled. He turns off the phone and then restarts it. He plugs in his six digit code and the phone activates.

He opens up his NYTimes app and goes straight to the Spelling Bee. He likes to start his day finding the pangram. According to him, 80% of the time he can find it in less than 30 seconds. The real the number is closer to 25%.

Mid morning, he opened up his iPad. Again the facial recognition software didn’t work. He successfully plugged in his code. He returned to The Spelling Bee. The letters were l-i-e-k-m-o-b. After 10 minutes he was still stumped.

He closed his eyes and pictured the letters. This technique has worked many times in the past (rarely).

He still couldn’t get it.

At dinner, he asked W if she got today’s pangram. She said, “bookmobile.”

He shouted, “I didn’t want to know what it was. I just wanted to know if you found it!” Discombobulated.

January 24th —

For the third day in a row, his Apple facial recognition software didn’t recognize him.

He asked Chat GPT if it was possible for one’s looks to change overnight. Chat GPT said, “Yes, your appearance can noticeably change within a day due to factors like sleep deprivation, hydration levels and facial expressions.”

When he got ready for bed that night he gulped 24 ounces of water (really 10-12) and made hundreds of different facial expressions (maybe 8). To insure a good night’s rest, he went to bed at 10 (more like 11:15). Anxious.

January 25th —

When he woke, he grabbed his phone and looked directly in the camera with a relaxed expression (if you call a look of constipation relaxed) and waited for his phone to, well, recognize him and open. It didn’t. He said very loudly “fuck.”

Moments later, when his iPad didn’t recognize him he said even louder, “fuckety-fuck.”

He thought about going to the Apple store and having one of the geniuses at the Genius Bar check things out. He decided not to go because he was afraid they would tell him nothing was wrong. Then what? Distraught.

January 26th —

He had the dream again.This time, the chair of the department was reaming him out over Zoom. In the background, he could see a banner with the letters C.I.A.. The C.I.A. part made sense because the rumor back in the day was that the chair was a C.I.A. operative.

For the seventh day in a row, the facial recognition software didn’t recognize him.

That afternoon he got a note from Clark University asking about the Clark University Glencoe Outdoor Adventure Alumni Association. How long has it been in existence? Does it have regular alumni events? Are there any other members than himself? How old were you when you saved that little girl from drowning? Double Fuckety-Fuck.

January 27th —

When he got to his lesson, his tennis pro terminated him. Really. He walked him off the court and took him into the closet where the pros store their baskets of tennis balls and closed the door.

“You’re about to fire me.?”

“Yes, I am.”

“I was on time today.”

“The first time.”

“I’ve been picking up more balls.”

“Not as many as me.”

“But, I thought —

“There’s that.”

“How about my eye contact?”

He shook his head.

“Now what?”

“The walk of shame.”

As he made the walk of shame to the parking lot, he knew it would be the last time he would see the inside of the club. He knew that no other pro would want to teach him. He couldn’t go to the drills because his drill buddies would give him endless grief.

When he got home W asked him how the lesson went. He told her he was terminated. She asked if he had been crying. He lied and said no. Devastated.

January 30th —

On the way to therapy, he thought about all the things that had gone wrong this month. The spelling bee with Liv, the Sedaris crack, the PIP firing, the dream/nightmare, losing the Clark Alum award, the pangram debacle. And, yes, he was still invisible to his own iPhone and iPad.

So, so very much. Where to begin?

“You know,” he said. “This might be my worst January ever.”

“April is the cruelest month of the year.”

He looked at his therapist like he didn’t have a fucking clue what he was talking about. That’s because he didn’t have a fucking clue.

“T. S. Eliot. The Wasteland, certainly you know it or have heard of it.”

“Yes.”

“April is the cruelest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and—”

“Stop, you’re killing me.”

“You’re the one who insisted I stop saying, ‘Shall we look under the hood?’ To come up with something new. You’re a writer. Let’s give poetry a chance.”

He looked at his therapist and remembered something else horrible that happened to him. That day his therapist said yes, put me on your Substack mailing list but, no, he wouldn’t have time to read it.

Why not? Because his free time is so rare and precious.

His therapist could have kept his bullshit excuse to himself. He could do what his friends and family do. Not read the column but say he did. What compelled his therapist to say something so hurtful?

“Let me ask you this: if I were to win the National Book Award for fiction, would you read the book?"

“I don’t know. I’d have to think about it.”

“Try this. I win the Nobel Prize for literature. Would you read my books then?”

“The Nobel Prize. That’s quite an achievement. When I think about the grandeur…” He really does pause to consider the grandeur. “My answer is ‘yes’ I most definitely would read your books.”

His therapist looks very pleased. As if he actually has a client who won the Nobel Prize.

“Guess what? If I won the Nobel Prize I would no longer be seeing you.”

“Why is that?”

“I would be seeing the therapist that all the Nobel Prize winners see.”

His therapist replies, “Touché.” Pyrrhic Victory.

January 31st —

A shit day. His granddaughter Liv was at the house. Shortly after arriving, she spots his book, Two Hundred Words You Absolutely Must Know To Win A Spelling Bee. You know where this is going. The kid also owned the book and was soon challenging him to another spelling bee.

He asked his daughter if Liv had memorized all two hundred words. She nodded “yes.” As for him, he hadn’t cracked the book since the book store.

It went fast. His first word was “camouflage.” Ha, ha. He quickly spelled it. Liv spelled “lachrymose.” His next word was “granddaughter.”

“Very cute.”

Per the rules, he said “granddaughter” aloud and then spelled it.

“Wrong!”

He immediately realized his mistake. He left out the second “d.” Not Liv. That was that.

You would think if you were going to lose a spelling bee to a seven-year-old you could find some comfort if that seven-year-old was your granddaughter.

Not him. Not after the month he’s had.

He couldn’t wait for them to leave. They wouldn’t. They were there for dinner and dinner they had. And dessert. Liv prides herself as the world record holder for slow eating an ice cream bar. 47 minutes is allegedly her personal best.

While she slow- licked her orange Creamsicle, his thoughts turned to the The Wasteland. He didn’t know the poem. Yes, he had heard of it. Yes, he thought Eliot was spelled with two l’s and possibly two t’s.

There’s no way he thought April could be crueler than his January.

After Liv and his daughter finally left, he went straight to his iPad, plugged in his six digit code and Googled “The Wasteland.” This is what he read:

April is the cruellest (sic) month, breeding

Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing

Memory and desire, stirring

Dull roots with spring rain.

He read those four lines over and over. Here were some of his thoughts. Ok, ok the man can write poetry — if you like that sort of thing. He can’t spell cruelest to save his life. In a spelling bee, Liv would knock him out in the first round.

My god, weighing all the horrible things that happened to him the last 31 days against Eliot’s lame ass case for April, it’s not even close.

If Eliot were alive today, he would tell him straight to his face, “You’re so wrong, man. January, not April, is the cruelest month. Idiot!”

Yes, that would make him feel so much better.

Postscript

When he woke up yesterday, his Apple iPhone recognized his mug and came to life. As it did this morning as well. Make of that what you will.

As for believing he has the speculated “R” gene. You remember “R” for resilience. Nothing happened in January to dissuade him. Just the opposite. To be PIP fired by your tennis pro and live to tell the tale… well if that isn’t resilience, what is?

Do You Know This Man?: An Irreverent Memoir is an ongoing exploration of the one character who eludes, confounds and mystifies. Me. Right now, it’s available for free, including being able to listen to some of my plays and dive into the best of Sportscape Magazine.

Current premium content available for free:

That’s the scoop!

Thanks for reading Do You Know This Man?! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

]]><![CDATA[Tips For Small Game Hunting In Your Home]]>https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/tips-for-small-game-hunting-in-yourhttps://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/tips-for-small-game-hunting-in-yourSat, 18 Jan 2025 14:02:14 GMT
Words to live by.
“The hand that rocks the cradle chops the herring in the bowl.”
— Ann Klein

Back in the day when he was the publisher of Sportscape magazine, he received the following query:

Dear Todd:
Hey, how come you never cover hunting? That's a sport, too, you know!
J.S., Lexington.
Dear J.S.:
The only kind of hunting I've ever done is small game hunting in my house.
Here are a few tips.

Here is what he published in response.

Tips For Small Game Hunting In Your Home

Warning—This article contains extreme sports action, excessive bold type, high speed car chases, disturbing thoughts, suspicious grammar, suggestive sensuality and desperate humor.

WEAPONRY

Time Magazine

Number one in mail-order weaponry (discounts available for student hunters), Time Magazine, rolled to a diameter not exceeding 1.5 inches, is peerless in killing cockroaches, mosquitos and spiders. For best results, snap wrists on follow through, a technique perfected through experience and thrice-weekly squash games. Newsprint stains can be avoided by wearing gloves.

Your Basic Tennis Racket

Your basic tennis racket is perfect for all aeronautical small game. Light, fast-handling, the Prince Pro sports a large attacking surface coupled with tremendous inner frame strength, allowing off-center hits to score true with no torque or vibrations. For additional control, gut strings are recommended.

Four Wheel Drive Jeep

Stick shift or automatic, the Jeep is rated the most powerful of all small game hunting weapons. The shock of first impact is enough to bring down the largest of small game. What distinguishes the Jeep from all other four-wheel drive machines is the handy roll bar, which permits chase of small game up and down spiral staircases without fear of serious impairment. Options include AM–FM radio, leather interior, and small game hunting rack.

HUNTING SMALL GAME

Cockroaches

Of all small game, cockroaches have the most indiscriminate palates and will indulge in anything. Their most salient features are their long legs (especially adapted to hopping cribs and broad-jumping twin beds) and hard-back brown shells that snap, crackle and pop when snapped in two.

When hunting cockroaches:

  1. Discreetly open front door.

  2. Withdraw your basic tennis racket.

  3. Enter foyer.

  4. Smash racket against nearest wall.

  5. Repeat throughout remainder of home.

Moths

Stouter and hairier than most butterflies, moths are renowned for their expertise in matters of high fashion. Place a garment in front of a blindfolded moth and, within seconds, the moth will discern the garment's designer, fabric and retail price. Leave the garment there another thirty seconds, and the moth will drill a hole in your lapel the size of a cigarette butt.

When hunting moths:

  1. Enter closet.

  2. Remove hanger.

  3. Put on biggest woolen coat.

  4. Hang yourself up in closet.

  5. Liberally coat nose with solution of fermented banana and dried apricots mixed in brown sugar.

  6. Wait.

With any luck an impressive collection of Mourning Cloaks should be dining on your nozzle within an hour (the bigger the beak the better).

  1. Remove self from hanger, move slowly toward front door, open and release.

  2. Clean beak with Goo Gone.

Bats

Winged rodents sporting Mickey Mouse ears, bats behave as if they were still on European time: snoozing during the day and sightseeing at night. Except for Peter Pan, bats are the only mammals rigged for flying, using an antiquated radar system, which ineluctably propels them into attics, cupboards, closets and assorted birthday parties—never bearing gifts.

When hunting bats:

  1. Wait til 11:00 p.m.

  2. Leave closet or attic door ajar.

  3. Put on jammies over hunting outfit.

  4. Turn off lights.

  5. Feign sleep.

Once bat enters room:

  1. Slip out of bed.

  2. Whip off jammies.

  3. Snap on lights.

  4. Pursue with racket in hand (continental or western grips permissible).

In the event that you should fall asleep and miss the bat's entrance, when you awake:

  1. Get out of bed.

  2. Inspect bedroom.

  3. Inspect bathroom.

  4. Inspect kitchen, dining and living room.

  5. Call realtor.

Rats

Known as "big game" in the small game hunting world, rats are easily distinguishable by their long scaly tails, short legs, petite ears, and pointed muzzles which conceal a set of incisors capable of boring through a Boeing 707.

When hunting rats:

In an apartment:

  1. Feign call to travel agent for a one week trip to Mexico.

  2. Pack suitcase.

  3. Call taxi.

  4. Pretend to leave by slamming front door.

  5. Camouflage Jeep as love seat in your living room.

  6. Sit in Jeep fifteen minutes.

  7. Drive Jeep into kitchen.

  8. Chase rat until capture. At no time exceed 55 MPH.

In house:

  1. Open basement door.

  2. Drop tear gas pellet into basement.

  3. Wait at top of steps.

  4. When rat staggers out, knock unconscious with New Columbia Encyclopedia.

  5. Tie hands behind rat's back.

  6. Execute Mafia style.

In the event that the rat may be larger than you or your Jeep:

  1. Announce with hearty laughter that you were only joking.

  2. Offer to swap bedrooms.

  3. Back Jeep out of front door and seek new residence, preferably a place with a view.

From the mailroom…

The January 4th article, “Why Didn’t His Mother Pick Him Up at LAX?” generated an unusually large volume of mail. We thought you might enjoy both letters.

Hi Todd,
Something indeed needs to be said. I liked the article! Only next time, if there is a next time, I would appreciate highlighting my abilities rather than my disabilities!
Your ever-loving Mom
Dear Reader,
You underestimate how many of your terrific qualities come thru. You turned your son into a man. When the going got tough you took care of his kids and you’re a font of life wisdom. Not too shabby, I say.
The Writer
Dear Writer,
I stand corrected. Thank you for the clarification.
Love and kisses from Big Mama!

E. Meyer writes…

Hey —
This is very funny and reminds me of my favorite poem by Billy Collins, “The Lanyard.”
E. Meyer

We didn’t have a clue about Collins. After Googling him, we learned he was The Poet Laureate of The United States from 2001–2003. After reading “The Lanyard,” we were astonished that Meyer compared The Lanyard to our dreck.

That said, we loved “The Lanyard” and hope you do, too.

The Lanyard

By Billy Collins

The other day I was ricocheting slowly

off the blue walls of this room,

moving as if underwater from typewriter to piano,

from bookshelf to an envelope lying on the floor,

when I found myself in the L section of the dictionary

where my eyes fell upon the word lanyard.

No cookie nibbled by a French novelist

could send one into the past more suddenly—

a past where I sat at a workbench at a camp

by a deep Adirondack lake

learning how to braid long thin plastic strips

into a lanyard, a gift for my mother.

I had never seen anyone use a lanyard

or wear one, if that’s what you did with them,

but that did not keep me from crossing

strand over strand again and again

until I had made a boxy

red and white lanyard for my mother.

She gave me life and milk from her breasts,

and I gave her a lanyard.

She nursed me in many a sick room,

lifted spoons of medicine to my lips,

laid cold face-cloths on my forehead,

and then led me out into the airy light

and taught me to walk and swim,

and I, in turn, presented her with a lanyard.

Here are thousands of meals, she said,

and here is clothing and a good education.

And here is your lanyard, I replied,

which I made with a little help from a counselor.

Here is a breathing body and a beating heart,

strong legs, bones and teeth,

and two clear eyes to read the world, she whispered,

and here, I said, is the lanyard I made at camp.

And here, I wish to say to her now,

is a smaller gift—not the worn truth

that you can never repay your mother,

but the rueful admission that when she took

the two-tone lanyard from my hand,

I was as sure as a boy could be

that this useless, worthless thing I wove

out of boredom would be enough to make us even.

Do You Know This Man?: An Irreverent Memoir is an ongoing exploration of the one character who eludes, confounds and mystifies. Me. Right now, it’s available for free, including being able to listen to some of my plays and dive into the best of Sportscape Magazine.

Current premium content available for free:

That’s the scoop!

Thanks for reading Do You Know This Man?! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

]]><![CDATA[If This Is Way Too Much, Just Stop Reading]]>https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/if-this-is-way-too-much-just-stophttps://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/if-this-is-way-too-much-just-stopMon, 06 Jan 2025 14:00:00 GMTYeah, yeah, yeah. You just got a new post two days ago. For those of you playing at home, it means we’re breaking with our bi-monthly pattern. If you’re having a visceral response as in, “this is way too much,” then just stop reading and wait for the next one 12 days hence.

For many of you, there’s some unfinished business that needs to be addressed. That’s the answer to the nail biting question, in Botanic Garden, did Kate and Jake ever get spark?

If you don’t know what what we’re talking about, you can get caught up by reading the post, “What Is Your Damn Spark?” from two weeks ago.

So, you can find out for yourselves by watching the clip (above) and/or reading the script (below).

Some housekeeping…

In the “Spark” post, married actors Carmen Roman and James Leaming were identified as Chicago theater treasures. While that indeed is true, it shortchanges them.

First and foremost, they are treasures.

Their generosity, compassion and commitment are otherworldly.

They are your 3:00-in-the morning call.

They also have the rare distinction that, in every way you can interchange their names, they sound like real names.

James Leaming, Carmen Roman.

Leaming (Lem) Roman, James Carmen.

James Roman, Lem Carmen.

Roman Leaming, Carmen James.

Lem James, Roman Carmen.

Carmen Leaming, Roman James.

Jim James, Romy Roman.

Lem Leaming, Carmi Carmen.

Some inside baseball. There were seven staged readings of Botanic Garden before it was finally produced. After every reading one question was always asked, “how are you going to handle the flashbacks?” Yes, the play goes back and forth in time. Here’s the answer the writer always gave. “I don’t need to figure it out. The director does.”

That, by the way, is the correct answer. Ann Filmer, former Artistic Director of the 16th Street Theater, and not too shabby as a person in her own right, came up with the best solution.

To maintain the dramatic tension between scenes she did two very cool things. One, she commissioned a piece of music that was both evocative of the overriding dramatic suspense over whether or not Kate would go on the date and also served to generate and sustain the tension from scene to scene.

Second, she directed either Carmen or Jim to maintain eye contact as they took their positions for the beginning of the next scene.

In the clip you can watch, it begins at the end of Scene 4, goes thru Scene 5, and ends at the beginning of Scene 6.

From the play Botanic Garden

The setting is the living room of a home that’s 60 plus years old. A savvy real estate broker would highlight it’s character and good bones and tell you it’s a perfect setting for lasting family memories.

SCENE FOUR

Seven years earlier.
Clip begins mid-scene.

KATE

What is your damn spark?

JAKE

I’ve told you.

KATE

You’ve told me nothing. Just that you’re unhappy with me.

JAKE

I’m not unhappy...

KATE

Yes, you are. Just say it. You sit here all night, like the world’s biggest drip. Now you’ve got the nerve to tell me, you need something that no one’s ever heard of. You want spark.

JAKE

Kate, just give it a chance.

KATE

I was actually looking forward to this time together.

JAKE

I am, too.

KATE

So, why do you have to go and ruin it.

JAKE

You’re acting as if I’m asking for the moon and the sun. All I want -­‐-­‐

KATE

I know, ‘an occasional spark.’

JAKE

That’s all. An occasional spark...

KATE

I’m not a sparker.

JAKE

I’m not sure that’s a word, ‘sparker.’

KATE

Oh shut up.

JAKE

You know, you can see it in other couples. You can see it in their eyes. The way they respond.

KATE

You want someone else.

JAKE

I just want, I need spark.

KATE

What you want is to fall in love again.

JAKE

A response. A boost. Jesus, Kate, is this the way we want to go? The rest of our lives, so comfortable. Spark is life...

KATE

Is that what you do?

JAKE

What?

KATE

Spark for other women.

JAKE

Not consciously.

KATE

Do they spark for you? Women are giving you spark.

JAKE

I’m not sure I should be telling you this.

KATE

Telling me what?

JAKE

I think someone has...

KATE

Has what?

JAKE

Has been sparking me -­‐-­‐ Yes...

KATE

Who? Who’s been sparking you?

JAKE

I don’t know...

KATE

You don’t know?

JAKE

I don’t know if I should tell you. I just think it’s going to get you worked up.

KATE

Not telling me will get me worked up.

JAKE

It’s just that I’m not sure...

KATE

Not sure of what?

JAKE

If I’m really getting spark from this person. I’m just not 100 per cent sure...

MUSIC Kate steps away from Jake.

SCENE FIVE

The present.

KATE

Sandy Cohen. It was her wasn’t it. You used to talk to her when you got the newspapers. You used to talk to her for hours.

JAKE

I didn’t talk to her for hours.

KATE

A long time. You would stand there and talk to her for a long time.

JAKE

A few minutes, Kate.

KATE

You were ‘energized’ when you came back in the house. You would see me and look so annoyed.

JAKE

It wasn’t Sandy Cohen.

KATE

Then who was it?

JAKE

Come on, Kate, you know.

KATE

That bookstore lady? You used to spend hours in there.

JAKE

I thought it was days?

KATE

Did she spark for you?

JAKE

Kate, there wasn’t anyone.

KATE

What do you mean?

JAKE

Kate, there wasn’t anyone.

KATE

But, you said -­‐-­‐

JAKE

I wanted to get your attention.

KATE

You scared the hell out of me.

JAKE

I got your attention.

KATE

I thought I was fighting for my life. I thought you were going to leave me.

JAKE

I wasn’t going to leave you.

KATE

That was an incredibly mean thing to do. Tell me someone out there was sparking you. And, now you tell me there wasn’t anyone.

JAKE

But, we got there.

KATE

Where?

JAKE

Spark, Kate. We got spark.

KATE

Did we?

JAKE

London, you remember that. Don’t you, Kate? A month in London.

KATE

I haven’t thought about that in so long.

JAKE

That trip was -­‐-­‐

KATE

The best thing we ever did.

JAKE

Except for Carrie.

KATE

Except for Carrie. I didn’t know what to expect. I was so excited when we got there. That little apartment. That’s all we really needed. I loved it, I never thought...

JAKE

What?

KATE

That I could feel that happy.

JAKE

Remember when we went to hear Mozart’s Requiem?

KATE

My favorite music.

JAKE

That young couple -­‐-­‐

KATE

Sitting right in front of us.

JAKE

The way she played with his hair.

KATE

They reminded me -­‐-­‐

JAKE

Of us... younger.

KATE

They looked so happy. I remembered...

JAKE

What?

KATE

The possibilities. It is the most beautiful music.

JAKE

I watched you listening with your eyes closed.

KATE

So beautiful...

JAKE

I started crying...

KATE

Why?

JAKE

I just knew...

KATE

Knew what?

JAKE

I knew I was never happier.

KATE

So content.

JAKE

Spark, Kate.

KATE

Spark?

JAKE

We had spark.

KATE

Yes, we did.

JAKE fades back. KATE is alone for a moment.

You know, Mozart died before he finished composing it -­‐-­‐ the Requiem. He left notes for a young composer.

JAKE

He never heard it?

KATE

In his head.

JAKE

Never performed?

KATE

No, never performed.

MUSIC. JAKE sits on the couch with a brochure. KATE watches him for a moment and then sits on the arm of the chair with him.

SCENE SIX

Six years earlier.

JAKE

If it were you, would you do it? The chemo?

KATE

Jake, it’s what you want to do.

JAKE

Please, Kate. I know you’ve thought about it.

KATE

I’m not like you. I’m not the kind to hang on and fight the good fight. This whole idea of people who beat it. How insulting to those who don’t. I get it, it’s a motivational thing. Why don’t they just come out and say it. It’s just luck. Some respond, some don’t. What?

JAKE

So, that’s the recommendation, no chemo.

Botanic Garden premiered in Chicago in 2008. It featured Carmen Roman and James Leaming and was directed by Academy Award-winner Olympia Dukakis. In 2016, Botanic Garden won Best Play at the New York Theater Festival. Since 2008, it has been performed at more than 40 venues throughout the United States.

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Do You Know This Man?: An Irreverent Memoir is an ongoing exploration of the one character who eludes, confounds and mystifies. Me. Right now, it’s available for free, including being able to listen to some of my plays and dive into the best of Sportscape Magazine.

Current premium content available for free:

That’s the scoop!

Thanks for reading Do You Know This Man?! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

]]><![CDATA[Why Didn't His Mother Pick Him Up At LAX?]]>https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/why-didnt-his-mother-pick-him-uphttps://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/why-didnt-his-mother-pick-him-upSat, 04 Jan 2025 14:02:21 GMTImagine his disappointment when his mother didn’t pick him up at LAX. True, she never explicitly said she was going to. But, there was something in her voice when she had asked what airlines he was taking and and what time he was landing that made him smile to himself and think, “I think she’s picking me up at the airport.”

Her last words were, “Honey, I can’t wait to see you tomorrow,” followed by a giggle.

The giggle nailed it. What she really wanted to say was, “Honey, I can’t wait to see you tomorrow at the airport.”

But, she didn’t want to ruin the surprise.

Perhaps, if he had considered her age - 97. Considered that she still was recovering from a broken hip, which required her to use a walker. By the way, the broken hip followed shortly on the heels of her full recovery from a fractured pelvis.

If he had considered all that, he might have realized the improbability of his mother hustling over to LAX to pick pick him up.

That’s just not the way he rolls.

No, he thought she’d be there. Of course, she’d be there.

He was crestfallen when she didn’t show.

It was a twenty-five minute ride to his mother’s condo from LAX. There was no way he was going to let his Uber driver know any of this. So, for the entire ride he chit-chatted while simultaneously trying to decide what to say to his mother.

Not picking up someone at the airport isn’t a felony, but it for sure exceeds a misdemeanor. Is there a word for that in the penal code? Must be, he thought. Just couldn’t come up with it.

Like a thunderbolt, it struck him. His mother never planned to greet him at the airport. How could she with that walker and all? It would have been a logistical nightmare.

Why then the telltale giggle? Here’s why. He got it wrong. She wasn’t going to meet him at the airport. She was going to meet him in the lobby of her building and help him with his luggage. She was going to swap her walker for his suitcase which was on wheels. She’d insist because that’s who she is.

He would feign resistance. She would overrule him. She was very proud of how much her upper body strength had increased during rehab for her fractured pelvis.

“I now have muscles where I should have muscles,” she had told him God knows how many times.

After the thunderbolt, he began getting excited again to see his mother. He wished he could stop talking to the Uber driver but knew if he did, he would get a bad rating. Someone once told him, “better to not talk at all then start conversation and dial it back.”

So he kept chit-chatting. While he did, he tried to remember the last time he saw his mother. My god, he hadn’t seen her since before she fractured her pelvis. When was that? Five or 6 months ago?

That’s a long time. That’s like longer than ever. There had to have been a good reason. There must have been a good reason. Then he remembered. When she fractured her pelvis, his sisters, Holly and Alison, explicitly told him not to come. They said she was in a lot of pain; there was nothing he could do for her; he would be in the way.

Just as she was almost fully recovered from the fractured pelvis, she fell and broke her hip. Again, he was told not to come out.

He was very fortunate his mutual love and closeness with his mother never depended on the frequency of how often they saw one another.

They talked on the phone all the time. Except when they didn’t. Which was like every eight out of nine days. Calls often went on for hours. On the days he brought his A game, he could make her laugh like nobody’s business.

On days when he didn’t have his A game, she’d let him know his jokes weren’t funny. If they were teasy — is there any other kind? — she would give him a piece of her mind.

Why would you want to tease your own mother?

I’m sorry, but usually you find it funny.

Why can’t you talk to me like a normal person?

Define a normal person.

You get the drift. To summarize, the good calls were amazing. So amazing, he and his mother were willing to overlook the bad ones.

By the way, if you do a real deep dive into family systems theory, you’ll learn this specific mother-son dynamic is both common and considered acceptable.

Let’s cut to the chase. When his Uber pulled up to her building, his mother wasn’t outside waiting to greet him. Nor was she in the lobby.

He was gobsmacked.

On his own, he negotiated his suitcase, tennis bag, and backpack thru the lobby, down a forever hallway, into the elevator. With his right knee he pushed her floor number and then stewed as the elevator made it’s way to the 15th floor.

Either she’s a great, great actor or he had just read everything wrong. His mother wasn’t behaving like someone who had reneged on both picking him up at the airport and helping him with his luggage.

Her hug was so warm and gooey, he almost forgot the umbrage he was feeling. Almost. No he wasn’t going to let her off the hook. He had to say something. Something right then and there. In her vestibule.

He withdrew from her embrace, which to reiterate really was lovely. He stepped back and took her in.

Here is this woman who brought him into this world. This woman at 97 who looks preternaturally young. And that’s without having any work done.

This woman who is the progenitor of four children, 12 grandchildren, and 17 great-grandchildren.

This woman who fully recovered from a fractured pelvis and is all but fully recovered from a broken hip — all during her 97th year. Who does that? Like no one he ever heard about.

This woman who stepped into the breach when his father died when he was thirteen.

Who once stayed with his three children for six weeks during a family crisis.

Who praises him for being a great father and a great grandfather.

Perhaps most important, taught him the ins and outs of what it is to be a man.

Here’s the salient stuff —

Don’t waste your time counting other people’s money.

Write thank you notes. Even if you already thanked them in person.

Always open the door for a woman.

Let women and children in and out of elevators first.

Wear a belt.

Own a raincoat.

Treat everyone with respect — even if you don’t like them.

As he looked at her, he thought about all that. As he did, it wasn’t lost on him how profound and meaningful all of this was. How lucky he was to have her for a mother. How much she has shaped him to be the person who he is today.

He thought that if he should do anything, he should express his gratitude.

,He should do it right then.

He so wanted to.

Really, really wanted to.

He knew he would be a better man if he did.

Perhaps, complete the circle of life. Whatever that means.

All that being said, she was still the woman who didn’t pick him up at the airport nor meet him the lobby to help him with his bags.

Something needed to be said.

So, he did.

Do You Know This Man?: An Irreverent Memoir is an ongoing exploration of the one character who eludes, confounds and mystifies. Me. Right now, it’s available for free, including being able to listen to some of my plays and dive into the best of Sportscape Magazine.

Current premium content available for free:

That’s the scoop!

Thanks for reading Do You Know This Man?! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

]]><![CDATA[What Is Your Damn Spark?]]>https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/what-is-your-damn-sparkhttps://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/what-is-your-damn-sparkSat, 21 Dec 2024 14:00:00 GMTImagine you are an empty nester. It’s 8:00 at night. You are reading a book in the living room. Your partner is at a nearby table. They’ve been quiet all night. You think they are upset with you.

You remember the time when the two of you could talk about anything. You miss the closeness the two of you used to have. You miss it so damn much.

You want to tell them you are lonely and it’s killing you. You are afraid. You’re afraid if the conversation goes sideways, you’ll be even farther apart.

That would feel unbearable. How you wish the kids were home.

You can’t take the silence anymore.You have to get back on track. You engage them with small talk. Oh, they answer your questions but they seem so annoyed. They gradually start to open up. You both begin sharing how empty the house feels. Even eerie.

Then they tell you they need something from you. Something you’ve never heard. You ask them to explain it to you. When they do, you don’t think you can.

Now you’re fighting for your marriage.

This is what happens to Kate and Jake in Scene 4 in his play Botanic Garden. It’s available here for you to watch and/or read.

Some background.

Botanic Garden is a two-hander. Kate, is a widower, who is desperate to get out of a date to the Botanic Garden. To seek solace, comfort, even guidance, she turns to the one person who can help her, Jake, her deceased husband.

The story takes place both present day and flashes back to scenes from their marriage.

Kate and Jake are played by Chicago theater treasures, Carmen Roman and James Leaming. Under the direction of Olympic Dukakis, they inaugurated the roles at Chicago’s Greenhouse Theater in 2008.

They reprised the roles with director Ann Filmer in 2016 at the Citadel Theater in Lake Forest as the beginning of a three state tour. Botanic Garden has been performed at more than 30 venues. In 2017, it won best play at The New York Theater Festival.

The clip is from a filmed performance at The Citadel Theater. It is 9 minutes long. Yes, that’s a serious commitment. If you make it all the way to the end and let us know, you might be eligible for a prize.

A big, expensive prize.

Just putting it out there.

From the play Botanic Garden

The setting is the living room of a home that’s 60 plus years old. A savvy real estate broker would highlights it’s character and good bones and tell you it’s a perfect setting for lasting family memories.

Scene 4

It is evening. Around 8:00. JAKE is huddled over a laptop, writing. KATE approaches.

KATE
Do you mind if I sit here?

JAKE
I’m not stopping you.

KATE
I don’t want to bother you.

JAKE

You’re not.

KATE
You’re sure?

JAKE
I said you’re not--

KATE
I won’t say another word. Promise.

KATE opens a coffee table book` and seems to be, rather obviously, enjoying the pictures. She looks to JAKE.

KATE

Jake, I made some money today!

JAKE

Good.

KATE

Do you know what I’m talking about?

JAKE

Kate, I’m trying to write.

KATE

I got a check from the phone company for $125.33.

JAKE

Good.

KATE

Jake, I overpaid them ,and they sent me a check for the overpayment.

JAKE

What?

KATE

Never mind. Go back to your writing. (A beat). Jake, is something wrong?

JAKE
Just preoccupied.

KATE
With what?

JAKE

This.

KATE
It doesn’t seem like a writing preoccupation.

JAKE
That’s all it is.

KATE
You’d tell me...

JAKE
I’d tell you.

KATE
How’s it going?

JAKE
Like I said, ‘it’s going.’

KATE
There is something wrong. I can hear it in your voice.

JAKE
There’s nothing wrong.

KATE
So, it’s just the writing.

JAKE
Just the writing.

KATE
What are you working on?

JAKE
The same thing.

KATE
The thing about me.

JAKE
I told you --

KATE
‘I’m a starting point.’ I don’t understand how I can be a starting point and then somehow it ends up not being about me.

JAKE
I’ve explained --

KATE
-- That you grab a few pictures from a photo album, but you don’t use the whole album.

JAKE
That’s right.

KATE
But, they’re pictures of me.

JAKE
Kate, I’m trying to work.

KATE
Just tell me this. Are you mad at me about something?

JAKE
What if I were...

KATE
I just hate it. It throws me off. My equilibrium.

JAKE
You get very defensive.

KATE
Because I don’t like being in the doghouse.

JAKE
Kate, for the last time, I’m not mad at you.

KATE
Good, I’m in the clear.

JAKE
Happy as a lark as long as it’s not you.

KATE
Yes, of course.

JAKE
Do you see where something’s off? I could have something horrible going on but you’re happy as lark because it’s not about you.

KATE
Yes. I mean, no. It would be terrible.

JAKE
Not for you.

KATE
Never mind, you don’t get it.

A moment.

KATE (CONT’D)
Have you heard from Carrie?

JAKE
I would have told you.

KATE
Check your email. Look and see if you got an email.

JAKE
I don’t.

KATE

Check.

JAKE
I can see that I don’t.

KATE
You didn’t even look.

JAKE
Kate, I can see

KATE
Check mine.

JAKE
You check yours.

Kate checks her email.

KATE
Nothing... There’s nothing from her. How come we don’t hear --

JAKE

She’s fine.

KATE
I feel cut off.

JAKE
You have been cut off. We’ve been cut off.

KATE
I don’t like it.

JAKE
Get used to it.

KATE
It’s not easy.

JAKE
No one said it was.

KATE
You don’t care.

JAKE
That’s right, I don’t care.

KATE
You don’t.

JAKE
Kate, I’m trying to work.

KATE
Why don’t you go into your office?

JAKE
Kate, I’m asking nicely.

KATE
Is that a threat?

JAKE
How can asking nicely be construed as a threat?

KATE
(Mimicking) ‘Kate, I’m asking nicely.’

JAKE
I’m warning you.

KATE
What kind? Weather advisory? Low flying aircraft?

JAKE
All right, I’ll tell you. All night, you’ve been asking me if anything was wrong. That’s the big question. The mystery hanging in the air. You’ve asked, now I’ll tell you.

KATE
I knew it. I was right. I knew it.

JAKE
It’s not what you think.

KATE
Just say it.

JAKE
I’m trying to --

KATE
You haven’t said anything --

JAKE
Because you won’t let me.

KATE
Okay, okay.

JAKE
Without Carrie here, I feel like the air has gone out of our lives. I feel a numbing sameness. The days seem like weeks.

KATE
We need to get lives.

JAKE
I have a life.

KATE
I mean outside of here.

JAKE
I’m just surprised how I’m so affected. The house --

KATE
- - feels dead.

JAKE

Quiet.

KATE

Eerie.

JAKE

Unsettling.

KATE
Like that time in Paris. Remember when we were walking through the station -- What’s the name...

JAKE
Le Gare.

KATE
It suddenly seemed as if all the sound had been turned off.

JAKE
Like we had entered a vacuum.

KATE
The Twilight Zone. That’s what this feels like. I don’t understand why Carrie doesn’t respond? Doesn’t she care about us, anymore.

JAKE
Did you care about your parents when you went to college?

KATE
The last time I spoke to her? I said, ‘I love you.’

JAKE

Kate...

KATE
You know what she said? “I know you do.”

JAKE
Kate, there’s something else...

KATE
“I know you do.’ She can’t even say that she loves me anymore.

JAKE
She loves you.

KATE
Why can’t she say it?

JAKE
Kate, there’s something else. I need, from you...

KATE
What? What do you need?

JAKE
It’s hard to explain.

KATE
Just say it.

JAKE

Spark.

KATE

‘Spark?’

JAKE
I need ‘spark.’

KATE
You need spark?

JAKE
Yes, from you, Kate. I need spark.

KATE
What does that even mean? You need spark.

JAKE
I don’t know if I can define it. There really isn’t another word --

KATE
There must be a synonym.

JAKE
I can’t think of one. I think it’s one of those words...

KATE
One of what words?

JAKE
Words that mean what they sound like.

KATE
Do you mean ‘onomatopoeia?’

JAKE
Yes, spark is onomatopoetic.

KATE
This ‘thing’ spark, you need from me.

JAKE
I think you know what I mean.

KATE
How can I if you can’t even define it?

JAKE
When I see you, I need spark. I need to see it in you. It’s a sign of life. That you light up. That I light you up. A response.

KATE
What? Cartwheels? Do you want me swinging from a chandelier?

JAKE
Not all the time. Just occasionally.

KATE
Did you read about this somewhere?

JAKE
I just realized.... I thought... with Carrie gone, we’d...

KATE
We’d what?

JAKE
That you’d have more....

KATE
More what?

JAKE

More...

KATE
You’re not saying anything. More what?

JAKE

Spark.

KATE

Spark?

JAKE
Yes, spark.

KATE
You came up with it.

JAKE
It came to me.

KATE

Spark?

JAKE
Yes, spark.

KATE
That’s what you want from me?

JAKE

Spark.

KATE
Not all the time?

JAKE
Just occasionally.

KATE

Jesus...

JAKE

What?

KATE
What if I can’t?

JAKE
Why can’t you?

KATE
Because I haven’t been doing it. What makes you think I can just suddenly spark for you?

JAKE
You used to spark.

KATE

I did?

JAKE
When we first met.

KATE
Oh, that’s what this is about. You want me to pant when I see you.

JAKE
That’s not what --

KATE
A little 13 year-old in love.

JAKE
13 year-olds pant?

KATE
When they’re in love.

JAKE
Did you pant when you were 13?

KATE
Just tell me is that what you want?

JAKE
That’s not spark.

KATE
What is your damn spark?

JAKE
I’ve told you.

KATE
You’ve told me nothing. Just that you’re unhappy with me.

JAKE
I’m not unhappy...

KATE
Yes, you are. Just say it. You sit here all night, like the world’s biggest drip. Now you’ve got the nerve to tell me you need something that no one’s ever heard of. You want spark.

JAKE
Kate, just give it a chance.

KATE
I was actually looking forward to this time together.

JAKE
I am, too.

KATE
So, why do you have to go and ruin it?

JAKE
You’re acting as if I’m asking for the moon and the sun. All I want --

KATE
I know, ‘an occasional spark.’

JAKE
That’s all. An occasional spark...

KATE
I’m not a sparker.

JAKE
I’m not sure that’s a word, ‘sparker.’

KATE
Oh shut up.

JAKE
You know, you can see it in other couples. You can see it in their eyes. They way they respond.

KATE
You want someone else.

JAKE
I just want, I need spark.

KATE
What you want is to fall in love again.

JAKE
A response. A boost. Jesus, Kate, is this the way we want to go? The rest of our lives, so comfortable. Spark is life...

KATE
Is that what you do?

JAKE

What?

KATE
Spark for other women.

JAKE
Not consciously.

KATE
Do they spark for you? Women are giving you spark.

JAKE
I’m not sure I should be telling you this.

KATE
Telling me what?

JAKE
I think someone has...

KATE
Has what?

JAKE
Has been sparking me --Yes...

KATE
Who? Who’s been sparking you?

JAKE
I don’t know...

KATE
You don’t know?

JAKE
I don’t know if I should tell you. I just think it’s going to get you worked up.

KATE
Not telling me will get me worked up.

JAKE
It’s just that I’m not sure...

KATE
Not sure of what?

JAKE
If I’m really getting spark from this person. I’m just not 100 per cent sure...

MUSIC Kate steps away from Jake.

End of Scene

In 2008 audiences were offered buttons as they left the theater. One read “Sparker.” The other: “Not a Sparker.”

Audience members were typically divided.

One night someone took both. They explained that on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays they never spark. When it came to Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays and Sundays they were big sparkers.

How about you? Sparker? Or Not a Sparker?

Leave a comment

Botanic Garden premiered in Chicago in 2008. It featured Carmen Roman and James Leaming and was directed by Academy Award-winner Olympia Dukakis. In 2016, Botanic Garden won Best Play at the New York Theater Festival. Since 2008, it has been performed at more than 40 venues throughout the United States.

Do You Know This Man?: An Irreverent Memoir is an ongoing exploration of the one character who eludes, confounds and mystifies. Me. Right now, it’s available for free, including being able to listen to some of my plays and dive into the best of Sportscape Magazine.

Current premium content available for free:

That’s the scoop!

Thanks for reading Do You Know This Man?! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

]]><![CDATA[The Entrepreneur's Guide to How to Work on a Weekend]]>https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/the-entrepreneurs-guide-to-how-tohttps://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/the-entrepreneurs-guide-to-how-toSat, 07 Dec 2024 14:01:58 GMTIn 1990, the editor of The Boston Business Journal asked him to write a monthly column on entrepreneurship. Saying “yes” was easy. The writing wasn’t.

Ideas never came fast and furious. They usually came 90 or so minutes before deadline. He found the pressure of writing under the gun a mixture of agony and exhilaration.

The process often went something like this.

“Oh why did I wait so long? What if nothing comes. What if it already came and I just don’t remember? If that’s true, I just need to slow down and, for sure, I’ll remember.”

He tries so hard to remember but nothing comes. This is torturous. He wracks his brain until he remembers that every month he goes thru the exact same routine. Trying to remember a column idea which in all likelihood never existed in the first place.

This realization is soothing. His mind relaxes. He closes his eyes. He imagines he’s walking on the beach. He’s grateful there are no jellyfish. Like clockwork it happens. He hears the click. Like a tumbler in a lock, the column comes together in his mind.

He begins to write. Fast. Faster. Even faster.

Then he’s done. Usually 20 minutes before deadline.

Exhilaration.

His favorite Boston Business Journal column was “The Entrepreneur’s Guide To How To Work On A Weekend”. The reader comments blew him away.

“You’ve changed my life.”

“I want to repay you. What’s your address?”

“How did you find the words?”

“Whatever you’re smoking, don’t stop.”

Yep, good stuff. Kind stuff. Smart stuff.

Rescued from being trapped between two file cabinets for god knows how long. Maybe 33 years. No, that can’t be. He’s moved five times in the last 33 years.

We’re not going to waste all day on this.

What’s important is his killer column, “The Entrepreneur’s Guide To How To Work On A Weekend” is now available in its entirety. If your eyes are still open, give it a read. In some circles, it’s considered seminal.

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The Entrepreneur’s Guide to How to Work on a Weekend

Saturday Morning

Arrive at the office at 9:00 sharp. Quickly count how many of your employees are working. None in sales. Zip in production. Zippo in administration. Good, you've got the place to yourself. Go into your office and sit at your desk. Stare at the pile of papers on your desk. Stare some more. Spin your swivel chair a few times. Announce to yourself, “boy, I could go for a cup of coffee.”

While you're out, stop at a newsstand, and buy some magazines. Go back to your office. To make room for your coffee and magazines, put all the papers on your desk into one big pile. Shove the pile over to the upper left-hand corner of your desk. Begin reading the magazines one-by-one, not skipping one article, one paragraph, one word. Stop only to notice how well you can concentrate reading when no one else is around.

At 10:45, take the pile of papers on the corner of your desk and slide them to the center of your desk. Prepare to divide the pile into four smaller piles marked:

  1. Needs to be done today.

  2. Needs to be done this week.

  3. Needs to be done some time.

  4. Needs something but you’re not sure what.

Position your wastebasket in the farthest corner of your office. Each time you have to throw away a paper crumple it and fire towards the basket. Go to the supply room and get a couple of pads of paper. Continue firing away. Bank shots, angle shots, off the book case shots, behind the back, swivel 180 degree around shots. Tell yourself if you hit 10 shots in a row, you'll take the next weekend off.

A noise. Quickly jump out of your chair, grab the wastebasket and stuff all the crumpled papers into the wastebasket, put the basket back in its normal place. Take the pile of papers and quickly divide it into four piles.

Start calling out, “hello, hello.” Hear a voice call back, “hello, hello.” Move towards the voice until at last you're face to face with a member of the building cleaning crew. Exchange pleasantries, and then ask if they wouldn't mind holding off on the vacuum cleaner; explain that you’re trying to concentrate.

They ask if they should come back later. You think to yourself, “hey, that’s not a half bad idea.” You take them up on it. You assure them you’ll be gone by four.

Go back in to your office. Sit down at your desk. Take the four piles sitting on your desk and put them back into one big pile. Take out a ruler and measure the pile.

Wow! Eighteen inches. Guess how many paper clips are in that pile. Quickly count the paper clips. 122 paper clips. Almost seven per inch. Wonder what it means. Wonder what time it is.

12:45. Lunchtime. Grab a takeout someplace. On the way back, stop at the bookstore Go to your favorite section. Business and Management. Notice the books that are featured. In Search of Excellence. Own it. The One Minute Manager. Own it. Looking Out For Number One. Own that, too.

What’s this new one? Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey. Go ahead, pick it up. Read the inside flap. Blah, blah, blah. Read Covey’s bio. Blah, blah, blah. You think too bad Covey didn’t talk to you before writing his book.

You would have told him seven habits are six to many. You just need one. Work Smart. Chuckle as you leave the store picturing Covey’s book in the remainder bin a month from now.

When you get back to the office, eat your sandwich at your desk. Chew your food slowly and rhythmically. Why? It relaxes you. After a stressful morning, there’s nothing like a slow rhythmic chew.

While you do this think of all the fun things you could be doing if you didn’t have to work on a weekend. Wait. Stop! Bad idea. The fact is you have to work on the weekend Why torture yourself?

Look at your phone. Not a bad time to make some calls. Work smart. Really does sound so much better then Seven Habits of blah, blah, blah. Work smart. Work the phone. Be fast. Be succinct.

Call your spouse, and tell them you may have to work again tomorrow. Call your mother and say your really can't talk now because you are too busy working.

Call your employees and ask them where they left key files. If they're not home, leave messages. Make sure the tone conveys urgency. Call life-long friends, college friends, high school friends, long-lost grammar school friends. Call until your ear feels like it’s going to falloff.

Put your head down on your desk and try to take a nap. To help you fall asleep, count your employees, count your former employees, count how many months have 30 days and how many have 31. Don’t go near February because you’ve just never understood it.

If that doesn’t work, go for the sure thing. Count all 50 states. You’re good at this. What does good mean? You always come close but you’re always one or two short.

Alas, you are asleep. Dream. Dream big.

Wake-up in a pool of drool. Go to the bathroom and clean yourself up. Look in the mirror. Notice your receding hairline. Notice the bags under your eyes. Notice the start of a double chin. Notice your stomach hanging over your belt. Notice how depressed you’re starting to feel.

Notice how dark it is outside. March back into your office. Take the 18 inch pile of papers and march it directly to your office managers cubicle and deposit it on their chair. Leave a note that reads, “please handle.”

Notice how much better you suddenly feel. Think about all you got done. Yes, it’s been a good day. How good? Good enough to make the executive decision not to work Sunday.

Grab your coat, hit the lights, and leave. Wait, you're forgetting something. Turn the lights back on. Go back in. Walk through the entire office. As you do, take your time. Admire what you have built. Don't be modest, it really is quite something. It’s ok. Go ahead. Bask in self-glory. God knows you’ve earned it.

When you're done, hit the lights again, and scram.

Back to today…

While you just read “The Entrepreneur’s Guide…”, he re-read it himself. When he finished, he asked himself if he had the business today would he have an office? Probably not. No. Definitely not. After all he was in publishing. There isn’t a single function in publishing—writing, editing, art direction, sales, back office—that couldn’t be done remotely.

No. For sure he wouldn’t have had an office.

After that realization, he got a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. His column, “The Entrepreneur's Guide to How to Work on a Weekend”, which he encouraged you to read, might be so outdated that you didn’t get past the first paragraph. Which means you’re not reading this.

Wait a minute, Sally. Get yourself out of that rabbit hole. Offices still exist. Entrepreneurs still go to their offices on weekends. You didn’t stop reading. Yay me, he thought.

He felt better. The pit in his stomach was gone. He closed his eyes. He relaxed. He imagined he was at Wimbledon. Playing Djokovic in the finals. He wanted to avenge Roger’s horrible loss in 2018. The one where Roger squandered two match points in the fifth set.

Djokovic was no match for him. He polished him off in straight sets. Djokovic was a true gentleman when he spoke during the ceremony. He made no mention of his opponent being 71 years-old. He only said he lost to the better player. That’s class.

It was now his turn to speak. He decided to forgo the usual—thanking his team, the crowd and the Wimbledon organizers. Instead just six words, “Roger, this one is for you.”

As he was about to speak, he heard the click. Like a tumbler in a lock an idea for a new column came together. “The Entrepreneur’s Guide to How To Work At Home On A Weekend”.

He sat down at his desk. Opened his laptop. Prepared to write. Fast. Faster. Even Faster. Just as he places his fingers on the keyboard, the picture of him and his father catches his attention.

The picture that he never knew existed until his Mother gave it to him four weeks before his 70th birthday. The photo is 8 x 10. It was taken in Tulsa. It was the grand opening of his father’s Holiday Inn. As an amusement for the guests, a train, which the guests could ride, circled the property.

There he is at 4 years-old dressed in a suit, cute as a button, sitting on his Dad’s lap. They were seated in the train car just behind the engine. In the background was iconic The Holiday Inn sign.

The black and white picture was a close up of him and his Dad. The only close up of his Dad he has. He studies the photo. He’s flooded with memories. All good. Hard to believe his Dad died more than 57 years ago. Just ten days before his 14th birthday.

W is in the kitchen. Shouting distance away. He hollers, “why are old photos so damn bittersweet?”

She doesn’t answer.

He hollers again.

Still no answer.

He remembers a Warren Buffet story.

Warren was getting a check up and mentioned to his doctor that he was concerned that his partner Charlie Munger was losing his hearing. He asked his doctor what should he do.

The doctor said stand 30 feet away and ask Charlie a question. If he doesn’t respond, do again from 20 feet. Then do it from 10 feet.

The next time Warren saw Charlie, he did as the doctor advised. Standing 30 feet away Warren said to Charlie, “Charlie, do you think we should buy stock in General Motors?” Charlie didn’t answer.

Warren asked again standing 20 feet away. Still no answer.

He moved ten feet closer.

“Charlie, do you think we should buy stock in General Motors?”

Charlie said, “Warren, for the third time…”

As always, he laughs when he gets to the punchline.

He decides it will definitely go in “The Entrepreneur’s Guide to Working From Home on a Weekend”.

He’s very excited about this. He gets up and goes into the kitchen to share with W his new column idea.

As he heads toward W, she approaches him. Before he can say anything, she says, “For the third time, old photos are bittersweet because you can’t go back.”

He looks at W.

W looks at him.

He says, “Did I tell you the story about Buffet and Munger?”

W says, “A million times, Warren. A million times.”

The end

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Do You Know This Man?: An Irreverent Memoir, is an ongoing exploration of the one character who eludes, confounds and mystifies. Me. Right now, it’s available for free, including being able to listen to some of my plays and dive into the best of Sportscape Magazine.

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]]><![CDATA[Office Procedures in the Age of Autocracy]]>https://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/office-procedures-in-the-age-of-autocracyhttps://www.doyouknowthisman.com/p/office-procedures-in-the-age-of-autocracySat, 23 Nov 2024 14:02:45 GMTDear Elon and Vivek,

Congrats on heading up the new Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE). We’re sure it’s going to go gangbusters. You’ll be brilliant at whacking jobs, slashing costs, and vaporizing superfluous departments like Education.

So thrilling and long overdue.

We want to help.

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Why? We know a thing or two about running a successful autocracy. Christ, we did it for 13 years at Sportscape Inc in the 80’s and early 90’s.

We all know, once you’re done whacking, slashing and vaporizing, the real hard work begins; every day crushing the souls of the poor bastards who made the cut.

Want to know a fool proof way?

Implement and strictly enforce draconian and absurd office procedures.

Works like a charm.

Our gift to you is a copy of ours. Sure it needs updating. You’ve got folks who can do that. Right?

So here you go.

In return, we have one ask: pull the plug on RFK Jr. We like his policies swell. Something about the way he looks. It’s just wrong and yucky.

Again, congrats.

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SPORTSCAPE OFFICE PROCEDURES JANUARY, 1983

INTRODUCTION

Sportscape has not had strict rules and regulations regarding office procedures, i.e., for things such as telephone usage, consumption of office supplies, use of postage, filing expense forms, signing in and out, and the like.

The time has come, however, for us to institute some new monitoring systems to insure that expenditures are justified, that everyone's time is spent well, and, moreover, to get a better handle on just what each component of the magazine costs. The new systems detailed below, if followed routinely, should not be a burden for anyone; indeed, things should be easier to get done, not harder. Our bottom line, of course, is ad pages in the magazine, and everything falls from that fact.

We will need full cooperation from everyone if the new systems are to work. We hope that your attitude toward the new procedures reflects one of a concern for the overall well-being of Sportscape and for its (and, consequently, your) future.

TELEPHONE

One of our largest expenses, and one of the most controllable, is our phone bill, and it is a key concern. Within a couple of weeks, we will add another special line for making some in-state toll calls (those that require dialing a "1" before the number, as well as some that don't, such as Concord, Natick, and Saugus).

Beginning immediately, all employees are asked to use the US WATS line for ALL out-of-state business calls, and, when the new in-state line is put in (an instruction sheet will be issued later), everyone should use it if at all possible. Out-of-state calls are detailed for us on our phone bill, so non-business calls will be easy to identify.

Long-distance personal calls should be charged to your home phone number. Personal credit cards can be obtained from the telephone company. When making a personal call from a touch-dial phone, all you have to do is dial "0," the area code, and the number; a chime then rings, at which time you punch in your credit-card number. It costs about 30% less than if you go through an operator, and it costs Sportscape nothing.

Sportscape telephone credit cards, to be used by salespeople on the road, when necessary, should be used in the same manner. If you are making calls from a touch-dial phone, even pay phones, please use your Sportscape credit card. (Ideally, you would use coins—it always costs less when there's no operator involved—but this is sometimes impractical.) Particularly maddening and intolerable are collect phone calls to Sportscape from places such as Cambridge and close-by suburbs.

TAXI (BAY STATE DELIVERY SERVICE)

Our Bay State bill is about 50% too high. Try to avoid situations whereby you are forced to "Bay State" proofs, ad сору, issues, and the like. Closer monitoring of Bay State expenditures has been instituted already.

POSTAGE

It is useful for us to know exactly what is being spent on postage for each function of the magazine, i.e., editorial, sales, calendar, etc. A comparison of the tally sheets (the green-and-white sheets that are taped to the wall near the postage meter) and the actual expenditures for postage show a difference of more then 300%. Everyone is strongly urged to note every bit of postage on the sheets. Needless to say, personal items should not be stamped with Sportscape postage.

The self-addressed, stamped Sportscape envelope—the business reply envelopes—should not be used any longer.

SUPPLIES AND STATIONERY

Very soon, we will have Sportscape purchase-order forms, without which nothing will be purchased. No purchases are to be made at Beacon Stationery or at PIP without first checking with either Todd or Marc.

The other major concern in this category is the use of expensive stationery for drafts of letters; drafts should be done on less expensive paper; final letters should be typed on Sportscape letterhead.

We go through a lot of supplies. We are going to monitor more closely the consumption of such things. It would be a shame if it becomes necessary to lock the supply room. We are hoping to avoid police-state moves such as this.

SIGN-IN/SIGN-OUT SHEET

Starting Monday, a sign-in/sign-out sheet will be on the message desk in the front office. Everyone should sign in at the beginning of the day, at the end of the day, and at times during the day when you're leaving the building. We now have 10 people to keep track of, and it is important for us to know where everyone is and what they are doing.

SUMMARY

By instituting these cost-cutting measures, we hope to make things run smoother around the office. If you see any ways in which we can cut costs or increase efficiency, please mention them.

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Do You Know This Man?: An Irreverent Memoir, is an ongoing exploration of the one character who eludes, confounds and mystifies. Me. Right now, it’s available for free, including being able to listen to some of my plays and dive into the best of Sportscape Magazine.

Current premium content available for free:

That’s the scoop!

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